And We're Back

The appearance of the "uniform" has an odd effect on a person. You see a police uniform, you immediately slow down. A fireman, you look for smoke, a soldier....your heart drops.

Got up early today, took my shower, got dressed and walked downstairs to see my husband in uniform sitting on the couch with 2 of our 3 children. He had gotten them up early, gotten them dressed and tried to spend the last few moments he had with them.

After everybody was ready to go, he picked up his backpack and we headed to the truck. That drive to the airport seemed to take forever, but flashby at the same time. He drove quietly, as I played with my cellphone. The giggling from the backseat reminds you of what they are sacrificing. The silence in the front seats was deafening. Only broken up by the occasional sigh, and generic conversation.

We arrive at the airport, check in, and head to the terminals. Luckily the family members are allowed to wait with the soldier until boarding. I can remember a time, not long ago, when we weren't allowed that opportunity. The kids occupy themselves by watching airplanes, singing silly songs and pestering other soldiers awaiting their flights.

Finally, after about 2 hours they make the boarding call, and reality sets in. My husband gives his final goodbyes and goes to stand in line. You look at the line and see not one, not two, but more than a dozen soldiers standing in line to board the same flight. The numbers themselves are disheartening.

My two youngest are calm. They've occupied themselves with the airplanes and countdowns to Christmas. My son uses it as a marker for when Daddy will be back. How many days til Christmas mommy? So how many days after Santa will daddy be home?
My oldest however took it pretty hard. She's just old enough to really start to understand why daddy is gone. She understands his purpose for leaving, but that doesn't make the pain go away. She cries, and makes a run for the boarding line for one last hug. We wait for a few minutes and his line to board seems to be in slow motion. So the kids get antsy, and they all want daddy. Why is he just standing there? Can we give him another hug? I finally agree to sneak them over for one last goodbye.

The most touching part of the farewell, wasn't the soldier holding back tears. Wasn't the children who weren't fully aware of the surroundings, and it wasn't even the heartbroken little girl. But it was a stranger. An older woman, sitting alone watching the situation unfold. I'm walking away from my husband, trying to usher my 3 children back to the window to see the planes, and I see her. Fighting back tears of her own. She looks at them, looks at me and just whispers a simple "I'm so sorry" while large tears stream down her cheek.

Its funny, I hear things like "I feel so bad for you", "tell your husband thank you", and "I don't know how you do it", but nothing matches that statement. I don't believe she has any reason to be sorry. I don't think I deserve to hear her say she is sorry. But for the FIRST time ever, it seemed someone outside my boat was able to feel my pain. Finally, somebody gets it. I walked on, continued my attempts at lighthearted conversation until the plane disappeared, and we left the airport.

My children, dried their tears and being the little soldiers they are, returned to school. I went to the commissary, made dinner and put them to bed. Nearly 12 hours later, I close my door, breathe deeply, and shed a tear. Odds are, it will be one of very few tears I shed. Not because I don't want to cry, but because we aren't afforded the luxury.

Tomorrow morning, I will rise, get the kids ready for school and we will soldier on.

Dear Mr. President

Ok, so our Commander in Chief is getting a lot of hassle from those on both sides of the Iraqi war. He agreed to pull all COMBAT units out of Iraq by the end of August.
He's following a timeline set by former President Bush etc, etc...

When someone not affilitated with the Army reads that he is pulling out all combat units, they believe that this is to mean, no more American Forces in Iraq.
Um....no.
The military is made up of several branches. Each of these branches of the military are made up of different units all sustaining a different MOS (job).

Some are combat, some are not.

Now, was he truthful in his statement of bringing home all combat units? Well....
The only thing I will say about this, is because you are not necessarily considered a "combat" unit doesn't mean you aren't. Those specialized units, troops, groups etc.. such as Special Forces, Navy Seals are remaining in Iraq at this time, and more are scheduled within the next few months.

There will be some who say well he is sending XYZ combat unit, in November. Yes, that may be true. But their capacity will not (?) be that of a combat situation.

People forget when reading the headlines, watching CNN, and local news sources, that the man is a Politician. Not only that but he is an Attorney. He made a living speaking in semantics. You have to learn to read between the lines. Its not just what he's saying, but what he's not.

With that being said, he is our Commander in Chief. You may not respect the man, but respect the title. I am not an Obama supporter. But I do support this country. He is the man leading it, therefore I will respect him the best of my ability.

Just because one has the Freedom of Speech, doesn't mean you should abuse that freedom.

Politically Incorrect?

Ok, so I've been told repeatedly that I am Politically Incorrect. To this I will say
THANK YOU!
I do not have a problem with anyone of another, race, creed, height, religion, orientation or even mental condition. Until we stop treating each other as inferior and using such things as "political correctness" we will never see the value each has to offer.
I make random comments, jokes and statements regarding different groups, but never to be taken in a mean or harmful way.

So lets see who we can offend today!

One who knows me will know I frequently use the word 'tard. This is not meant as a reference to those actually being mentally handicapped. It is not meant to be hurtful towards that group in any way. In my opinion the mentally handicapped population are not to be pittied in any way. For the majority, I believe they are the luckiest people on earth. To see the world with such innocence and child like wonder is something the rest of us can only pray for.
So if you have a problem, with my use of the word 'tard or retarded, then I suggest you not give me a reason to say it to you!

I believe Political Correctness is a way to walk on eggshells and make one group feel more inferior than another. Its a way of stating one group cannot handle who they are, so lets treat them like they should be ashamed.

If you are not ashamed of who you are, you cannot be offended when someone makes a statement to that fact.
I have been called various things throughout my life. Some of them were correct.
I am not ashamed of who I am. I don't believe that anyone else should be ashamed of who they are either.
I know who I am, what I've done, where I've been and where I'm going.
I am a "predominantly" white woman, of less than average height. The typical slur for someone like myself is to be called a cracker.
I AM OK WITH THAT. Just keep in mind, that I am a Ritz Bitz, not to be confused with other crackers who may be HiHo's.

We should not be upset about our differences. We should celebrate them. I do not want to live in a monotonous world. I want to see colors, I want to see religions, I want to see people with everything on their heads from tiaras to towels. Everybody has a place and a reason in this world. Whether it is the ability to reach things off the top shelf, or not having to bend over to get in the cabinet. Whether its a gay man, who can decorate my living room or an Indian who can provide tech support.
Like I have previously stated, I am an equal opportunity bigot.

For someone to want us to all be the same, is well retarded!

The Seige of Rear D

Drama, Drama, Drama! One of the "perks" of Army life, is there is never a lack of drama.
Rear D-or Rear Detachment, consists of the group of soldiers left to man the homefront. They are chosen for a variety of reasons. Some are as serious as an extremely ill spouse and some are as simple as the soldier cannot be trusted with a rifle. Unfortunately for them, they have a tendency to be grouped into the category of "they were left behind for a reason *wink,wink*", whether they deserve it or not.

I, myself admit to being a little harsh on the Rear D, from time to time. Although, "typically" in fun, I have made the reference to Rear D, as being the "special" forces of the Army. I've made the heinious comments of, "keeping the shit in the rear",and I've even made statements to the effect of the dangers of paper cuts.

IT WAS WRONG OF ME. I will say that, honestly and openly. I have a warped sense of humor at times, and realize that not everybody shares my lighthearted views (go figure, right?, I was shocked!)

I will say that being a part of Rear D, is probably a bit more stressful than we realize. That grouping a bunch of soldiers together is wrong. There are good soldiers who, don't deserve the treatment they receive. I'm sure that dealing with wives such as myself on a daily basis can make one want to claw their eyes out with an open stapler.

Now, with that being said....
Rear D is a group of SOLDIERS, regardless. They consist of mostly MEN. So when a wife of a Rear D soldier, decides to take it upon herself to post insane rantings regarding the wives of actual deployed soldiers, it can get a little touchy.
Like I said, they are soldiers, with a negative stereotype, so do they need their wife to come online and defend their honor? Now I know if it were my husband someone was SPECIFICALLY speaking of, I'd be a little miffed. However, the wives of the Rear D need to keep in mind a few key points.
We depend on Rear D, to do right by us. We EXPECT they will do right by us. Its the least we can ask for is for one to do their job. Our soldiers are doing theirs, under a hail of gunfire. Yours under a hail of paperclips.
Our soldiers deal with laser guided missles, yours deal with laser guided pointers.
Ours, deal with Taliban insurgents. Yours....angry wives. See the difference?

Like I have previously said, we have a tendency to take our frustrations on on Rear Detachment, whether they deserve it or not. Lets not add fuel to the fire, by rubbing in that yours is home safe. Most of our frustration and stress is misguided.
But not all of it!

So if Rear D, is ever under seige by Taliban insurgents, your husband is hurt and you don't know how badly then maybe you will feel the fear and gain a little understanding as to our views, frustration and pain.

R & R: Day 1

So we decide to brave the trip to the airport. Seeing as I am "navigationally challenged" this may not have been my most ingenious idea. My 45 min-1 hr trip took me about 1 1/2, not bad considering I did get lost 3 times.

I'm pulling into the parking garage, just in time for my phone to go off.
"Where are you?" um....in the garage. He then decides to navigate me to his location via text message. This is my other weakness, texting. So I gave up, started to send a less than pleasant message informing him where he could find me. When I look around the corner and see my bald headed soldier heading this way.

Once I got the kids attention away from the escalator, and reminded them daddy was coming it finally fell into place. He rounds the corner, and you see 3 kids one after the other DADDDYYYYYYYY! Finally, after over a week of transit he's home. We know where he is, he's safe and all is well.

The rest of the day was pretty quiet. The adjustment of being home after 7 months, the changes that have occured, not to mention the growth of the children is a lot to take. I dropped the oldest two off at school just in time for picture day. The youngest refuses to let daddy out of her site. All day long, daddy, daddy, daddy where are you? daddy, daddy, daddy are you there. Where's daddy? Did daddy go back to work? Daddy, daddy, daddy. This went on all day.

We made it to my son's football practice. This is the first time my spouse has gotten to see one of his sports. He missed the entire T-ball season and has hated it every since. It is obvious to any one who see's my child who he belongs to. Besides the spitting image, the waving from the sidelines gives it away.

We make it home, get everybody to bed and finally I get my soldier to myself! Or so I thought. Here comes the baby back down the stairs. Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!
Finally after 3 tries, she's down!

The biggest adjustment to him being home however was from me. For the last 7 months, I have had total reign of my bed. I could keep the room the temperature I want, use all the blankets or none of them. I could sprawl, kick or toss all night long. Not so much anymore. For the first time in a long time, I had to share!! It was horrible. I am all about my bed, period. So by 3 am, he's sleeping on the couch and I'm threatening to mail his ass back to Iraqistan or whatever podunk country he would feel more comfortable. Finally,even though he got to be re-aquainted with the sofa atleast I know he's home.

Welcome To The Zoo!

Somebody asked me what its really like marrying into the Army. If its anything close to what you see on tv, or if my blog is even an exaggeration of Army life.
Well I will say this.....everything I type is 100 percent based off my own experiences. While I may put a comical spin on some stories, they are still absolutely true.

So, what is it like to be an Army wife, dealing with other women who are in the same situation as you? Well its like living in a hormonal zoo.

You pay at the gate for entry. Only we don't use money (we don't have any). We pay with our soul, sweat and tears.
We meet our tour guide, for arguments sake, we'll call her Flo. (get the joke, lol)

Flo takes us on a guided trip around the facility, with our first stop, the elephants. She then demonstrates how the animal can retain massive amounts of water in its trunk.

Next stop, the monkey cages...where you see the proper way to throw shit at people.

Then we are off to see the lions/tigers. Be careful, you may be eaten at any time.

We also, have the more gentile animals such as the zebras and giraffes. They don't blend in well, but they just mostly want to be left alone.

We are now off to the meerkats. The stay amongst themselves, popping out once in a while to let you know they are there, but prefer to stay in their little holes.

The gorillas of course are always a site to see. Making a scene, pounding their chest can come off as a threat. Just wanting to be left alone, to swing from their trees in peace and are usually satisfied with a simple banana.

Then there are the birds. Hiding amongst the trees. Building their nests (off post)high up as to be kept at a safe distance.

Then our tourguide Flo will usually wrap up the tour at the snack stand.
Some of the animals will return to their caves, holes or nests. Others will try to escape and eat the weaker animals. But all in all, we will remain in our zoo surroundings as much as it kills us to do so. Never being able to fully live outside of captivity again.

Nope, No Sacrifice Here.

I've noticed an increase in Anti-Army wife blogs, websites and rantings. I've seen posts calling us all sorts of names, with all sorts of stories and lots of complaints towards the population of Army wives in general.
To stereotype a group, is a mass generalization, but maybe we deserve some of them? Maybe we have earned the titles we are given and possibly even the names too?
Or
Maybe, just maybe....some people just need to be bitchslapped? Opinions are like rearends. Everybody's got one, some just smell worse than others.

My favorite Anti-Army wife blogs are the ones that claim we don't sacrifice. In the last few days I've seen several for some reason. My favorite was forwarded from a friend of mine this past week. She was the wife of a Vietnam Veteran. She ranted about how she's tired of hearing about our sacrifices. That today's Army wife doesn't really sacrifice. That today's Army is an all volunteer Army and we joined this life willingly.

Well...She's right. We took our marriage vows knowing the possibilies of deployments were there. Granted the idea that we would ever really be at war, seemed absurd. But we still knew it was a possibility. Who knew, that a group of whack jobs would fly a plane into a national landmark killing thousands of people? But hence, we still signed that marriage certificate.

Compared to her era, we don't sacrifice the way she did. Going months upon months not knowing if she is to be a widow. Waiting for a snapshot of her loved one to arrive in the mail. With today's technology, its rare that we go for long periods of time without speaking to our soldiers, whether its phonecall, internet or even snail mail. I am grateful that today, I can log onto my computer and see my soldier sitting on the other end. That thousands of miles away, I can see that he is whole, uninjured and as safe as possible. We are a long cry from where we started nearly 10 years ago, and even further from when she suffered through Vietnam.

Now with that being said.....somethings are a bit different than Vietnam. Yes we may speak to our soldiers, on a semi-regular basis. Yes we may complain about deployments and we may even go a little overboard with the pity parties.
However, we say good-bye to our soldiers on a every other year basis. We get them home after 12-15 months away. Just in time for them to train for the next deployment. Right now, we have been given a "19 month guarantee". So for 19 months we have them home, then they are off to save the next country in peril. So compared to this person's ONE deployment, of most likely less than a year, we have a right to be a little grumpy.

Keep in mind, we've received guarantees of this sort before.
Our guarantee's are like limited warranties. It is only for certain if you don't PCS, change your MOS or become more or less valuable within the upcoming months. Not to mention if yet another world wide crisis is to come about!!

But my favorite part, is when she said her husband came home and refused to wear his uniform. The anti-war movement was so bad, that he couldn't stand for anyone to know he was a soldier. Hmmm...where is that pride and sacrifice now? I remember sitting in a restaurant and overhearing some hateful woman complain about the soldiers being murderers sent by President Bush to annihilate Iraq for oil. Try explaining that statement to your child. But she sacrificed more than we have when her husband wouldn't wear his uniform?

So maybe she's right, maybe we don't sacrifice as much as we could. But a sacrifice is still a sacrifice. Our children sacrifice more than anyone. We as Army wives chose this life. Our children did not. It was chosen for them. So tell me they haven't sacrificed. Our soldiers deploy, so your civilians don't have to.
Our children sacrifice, so yours can play tag. Our wives sacrifice, so you can stand on your pedestal. The funny thing about standing on a pedestal, when its knocked over you have a lot further to fall!!