With Halloween quickly approaching, I thought it would be good to pass on a few words of wisdom to ensure your on post Trick or Treating be as fun and safe as possible.
1. Trick or Treat- The trick, does not have anything to do with prostitution!
2. If you come dress as a member of the Taliban, any extremist group, or even Rambo...even though it may add flair to your costume, leave the AK-47 at home. The police will not ask questions, you will most likely be shot.
3. Don't run out of candy. Army Brats are called such for a reason. You will not only be known as the lady with the empty bowl, but there is a good chance you will be toilet papered, egged or repeatedly given the finger (hence the real meaning of trick).
4. If you decide to not give out candy for this holiday, remember to turn off your porch light. If not you will most likely be subjected to many rounds of ding dong ditch.
5. Remember, just because you are an adult doesn't mean cars can see you. I suggest you dress like a christmas tree with chem lights dangling from every possible location. It may not serve a real purpose, but I know I would find it hilarious!
6. Haunted Houses- although I do admire your dedication to the holiday and your attempt to make it a fun spirited evening...some kids will fight back. I suggest you wear a cup or even full body armor. If you scare a 6 wear old with a scary mask and chain saw, be prepared to never have children again. Those little suckers kick harder than you think!
7. For the Men- you will see a lot of soldiers dressing in drag for this night. Be honest and admit to yourself and others that you didn't buy this costume just for the night. If you happen to have had it in your closet, its ok, its a new Army! lol
8. Taking your kids to various strange houses can be awkward. So I suggest you wear a mask. That way when your kids are told to "take one" and they dump the entire bowl in their bag, nobody knows it was you!
9. If you approach another adult, and you aren't sure if they are in costume...they probably aren't. Just keep your eyes down and walk away.
10. There is always a fear of something harmful being given to your children. Although this is rare, it still happens. So you have 1 of 2 options. You can either take your candy to be X-rayed or do the easier more sensible option. Randomly test your children's candy to ensure it's safe for consumption. I suggest eating every 3rd piece of chocolate. After all, it is your child's safety at stake. Do it for the kids. I love my children, and if I have to I will eat every last piece just to ensure they stay safe!
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