The phrase Happy Memorial Day has always seemed wrong to me. How can one be happy to celebrate such an holiday?
People today have forgotten the significance of Memorial Day. For most its become a reason for a 4 day weekend, a Bar-B-Que, a day on the lake and a cold beer.
But for those of us in the military, the reason for this day is more of a reality check.
With the wars and conflict of this last decade, we can't help but feel a cloud over this day. We think about our fallen friends and family on a daily basis, but for this one day the world seems to stop. Some of us will lay wreaths. Some of us will bring flowers. Most of us will weep.
The feeling of sadness for things past, the feeling of fear for things near, and the feeling of grief for things present.
I remember where I was when the plane hit the WTC Towers. I watched the 2nd plane hit live on the news. I remember watching people jump from the buildings, I remember the screams of people on the ground and the black cloud that enveloped the camera crews as people ran for their lives.
I remember where I was when the invasion of Iraq began. I layed in bed, 6 months pregnant with my husband, when they started the "shock and awe" campaign.
I remember where I was when the news of 1st death from our squadron occurred. I was standing in my living room, when my phone rang. Our troop was on their way home after 12 long months. First, we received word of an extension. We were told upto 6 months extra. That the men had been stopped nearly half way through Iraq, when they were ambushed. PFC Hutchins, barely 21 yrs of age was killed. Trying to return home.
I remember the next death, just as well. For sanity's sake I'll keep those details to myself.
Then there was my neighbor, a single mother (I believe she made Sgt) Lynn Jimenez, she left behind a baby boy. Barely 2 yrs old when she left, too young to remember his mother and the sacrifice she made for him.
But the one who really hits home this Memorial Day, was less than a week ago.
PFC Chris Barton.
So this Memorial Day, as you light the grills, drink your beers, and start your boats, remember why you have the ability to do so.
It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us freedom of the press.
It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us freedom of speech.
It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who has given us the freedom to demonstrate.
It is the soldier, not the lawyer, who has given us the right to a fair trial.
It is the soldier, who salutes the flag, who serves under the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag,
who allows the protester to burn the flag.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Top 10 List
Top 10 Ways to know if you will fail as an Army Wife:
1. If you've ever been a pole dancer, for any reason other than to feed your children.
2. If you believe wearing Daisy Dukes to a troop function is appropriate.
3. If you think FRG is pronounced furg.
4. If you ever appeared on an episode of COPS?
5. If part of your "dress" up wardrobe contains Booby Tassels.
6. If you think tank tops are sexy.
7. If you believe G.W. Bush was responsible for 9/11, Hurricane Katrina or the recent oil spill. (This also goes for those of you who are thinking "who's GW")
8. If you or your spouse has ever owned a crack pipe.
9. If you believe "Army Wives" is real.
And
10. If your husband goes TDY for 2 days and you spend them crying in the Commander's office.
1. If you've ever been a pole dancer, for any reason other than to feed your children.
2. If you believe wearing Daisy Dukes to a troop function is appropriate.
3. If you think FRG is pronounced furg.
4. If you ever appeared on an episode of COPS?
5. If part of your "dress" up wardrobe contains Booby Tassels.
6. If you think tank tops are sexy.
7. If you believe G.W. Bush was responsible for 9/11, Hurricane Katrina or the recent oil spill. (This also goes for those of you who are thinking "who's GW")
8. If you or your spouse has ever owned a crack pipe.
9. If you believe "Army Wives" is real.
And
10. If your husband goes TDY for 2 days and you spend them crying in the Commander's office.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Army Brats...The Sequel
A childs behavior has a tendency to reflect upon that of the parents. Thats something most of us can agree on. For instance, I have no one to blame but myself, for my childs sarcasm. But I also, have to take credit for my childs ability to know right from wrong. (stay with me I have a point here)
My children know, we don't pick on other kids. They know, they are not to leave the house without my permission,and they know by showing disrespect of any adult the taste of vinegar will follow. However, living in an Army Community, I can't say as all parents agree with this type of "old school" discipline.
I am the first person to say being an Army wife is hard, and the first person to say having children in this life is harder. But when we make the decision to have those children, we are expected to uphold a certain standard. For my current examples we will work only from my current military location. At this post within the last 9 months....
1. Baby approx. 13-14 mos walking down middle of main street while I waited to get my child off bus. Went knocking door to door to find mother. Finally found mother, sleeping in mid day approx 1/8th of mile from location child was found.
2. Baby approx. 11 months in middle of main street, as my car came around the corner I seen her in just enough time to hit the breaks. No parents in sight. Called 911, adults happened to walk outside just before police arrive. I yelled for them to see if they knew who this child belonged to, luck would have it she was theirs. Did not know their child was missing. This time about 1/4 mile from home.
3. 7 yr old girl on bus, picking on another child. This goes on for several min. the boy gets tired of situation, yells at girl and pushes her away. Girl gets off bus, her MOTHER climbs on bus and verbally assaults and threatens harm of boy. (wonder where the child gets it from?)
4. Boy 8 yrs old, picks on my son 4 yrs old. Pushes him down and yells at him. My son proceeds to kick his hiney. Very proud of him at this point.
5. Same boy 8 yrs old, starts a rumor among group of neighborhood boys. Tells them he "made out" with my 6 yr old daughter on the bus. I very calmly talk to parents. Their excuse "uh..I don't know" and shrug their shoulders. (again no wonder their childs a pervert)Now when these little boys start getting curious about sex, who do you think they are going to come to? My daughter has been put into jeopardy because a parent "doesn't know".
These are not isolated events. It is nothing to walk outside and see a dozen children under the age of 10 running around the neighborhood unsupervised. Its rare that you will see a mother anywhere in sight. Some are sleeping, some are just not paying attn, and one even goes to work and leaves her 8 yr old at home alone.
What's really funny about most of these situations, is when something does happen to these children, everybody is so shocked. What do you expect to happen, when you have a child, ignore them when they act like fools, and get so wrapped up in yourself you don't know where your child is, let alone what they are doing?
Being an Army Brat is hard enough. These kids have to grow up fast enough from Army life. Why double that pressure on them? The local highschools have had to add numerous pregnancy programs. In one highschool in the 8th grade class alone, there were more than 6 pregnancies all military children. On this post, there were numerous home invasions and burglaries, turns out military children. Violence is more than rampant. Pre-teen/teen boys think its ok to hit their girlfriends. Their mothers excuse "he has a problem dealing with his emotions".
Army wives have gotten lazy when it comes to their children. We are held to a higher standard, its time we achieve that standard.
We are Army Wives for goodness sake. Stand up and act like it!
My children know, we don't pick on other kids. They know, they are not to leave the house without my permission,and they know by showing disrespect of any adult the taste of vinegar will follow. However, living in an Army Community, I can't say as all parents agree with this type of "old school" discipline.
I am the first person to say being an Army wife is hard, and the first person to say having children in this life is harder. But when we make the decision to have those children, we are expected to uphold a certain standard. For my current examples we will work only from my current military location. At this post within the last 9 months....
1. Baby approx. 13-14 mos walking down middle of main street while I waited to get my child off bus. Went knocking door to door to find mother. Finally found mother, sleeping in mid day approx 1/8th of mile from location child was found.
2. Baby approx. 11 months in middle of main street, as my car came around the corner I seen her in just enough time to hit the breaks. No parents in sight. Called 911, adults happened to walk outside just before police arrive. I yelled for them to see if they knew who this child belonged to, luck would have it she was theirs. Did not know their child was missing. This time about 1/4 mile from home.
3. 7 yr old girl on bus, picking on another child. This goes on for several min. the boy gets tired of situation, yells at girl and pushes her away. Girl gets off bus, her MOTHER climbs on bus and verbally assaults and threatens harm of boy. (wonder where the child gets it from?)
4. Boy 8 yrs old, picks on my son 4 yrs old. Pushes him down and yells at him. My son proceeds to kick his hiney. Very proud of him at this point.
5. Same boy 8 yrs old, starts a rumor among group of neighborhood boys. Tells them he "made out" with my 6 yr old daughter on the bus. I very calmly talk to parents. Their excuse "uh..I don't know" and shrug their shoulders. (again no wonder their childs a pervert)Now when these little boys start getting curious about sex, who do you think they are going to come to? My daughter has been put into jeopardy because a parent "doesn't know".
These are not isolated events. It is nothing to walk outside and see a dozen children under the age of 10 running around the neighborhood unsupervised. Its rare that you will see a mother anywhere in sight. Some are sleeping, some are just not paying attn, and one even goes to work and leaves her 8 yr old at home alone.
What's really funny about most of these situations, is when something does happen to these children, everybody is so shocked. What do you expect to happen, when you have a child, ignore them when they act like fools, and get so wrapped up in yourself you don't know where your child is, let alone what they are doing?
Being an Army Brat is hard enough. These kids have to grow up fast enough from Army life. Why double that pressure on them? The local highschools have had to add numerous pregnancy programs. In one highschool in the 8th grade class alone, there were more than 6 pregnancies all military children. On this post, there were numerous home invasions and burglaries, turns out military children. Violence is more than rampant. Pre-teen/teen boys think its ok to hit their girlfriends. Their mothers excuse "he has a problem dealing with his emotions".
Army wives have gotten lazy when it comes to their children. We are held to a higher standard, its time we achieve that standard.
We are Army Wives for goodness sake. Stand up and act like it!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Ultimate Sacrifice
The view people have of me, is subjective to how well you know me. I've been told I'm everything from heartless to fearless. People don't understand why I am the way I am. How I shut things off and think the way I do. Its simple actually. I do it because I must. The pain of Army life can be overwhelming, the following is a prime example as to why.
Less than 72 hours ago, PFC. Chris Barton assigned to 3rd platoon, Shadow Company 1-33 Cav with the 101st Airborne Div was killed in the line of Duty. He left behind his family, friends and soldiers. The grief that they feel affects us all. He was stationed in Afghanistan, and barely out of basic. When any soldier dies, its painful. But when a Private First Class gives his life its unbearable.
PFC Barton was not the first and sadly he will not be the last. As a wife, we hear rumors of something happening. But we do not have a name. So we sit by our doors and wait to see if the are coming to us. We check our windows and peepholes before we answer the door, to ensure the person on the other side isn't in uniform. We know once we see that dress uniform our life as we knew it is over. We have to tell our children their daddy won't be coming back. We have to tell our in-laws their sons died so someone else didn't have to. We have to live with the guilt and nightmares of knowing what our spouses, friends, brothers, sisters or parent endured on their last moments.
I am not a war protestor, I fully believe what these men and women are doing in the Middle East. I will not let them die in vain.
Thank you PFC Chris Barton, you will not be forgotten.
Less than 72 hours ago, PFC. Chris Barton assigned to 3rd platoon, Shadow Company 1-33 Cav with the 101st Airborne Div was killed in the line of Duty. He left behind his family, friends and soldiers. The grief that they feel affects us all. He was stationed in Afghanistan, and barely out of basic. When any soldier dies, its painful. But when a Private First Class gives his life its unbearable.
PFC Barton was not the first and sadly he will not be the last. As a wife, we hear rumors of something happening. But we do not have a name. So we sit by our doors and wait to see if the are coming to us. We check our windows and peepholes before we answer the door, to ensure the person on the other side isn't in uniform. We know once we see that dress uniform our life as we knew it is over. We have to tell our children their daddy won't be coming back. We have to tell our in-laws their sons died so someone else didn't have to. We have to live with the guilt and nightmares of knowing what our spouses, friends, brothers, sisters or parent endured on their last moments.
I am not a war protestor, I fully believe what these men and women are doing in the Middle East. I will not let them die in vain.
Thank you PFC Chris Barton, you will not be forgotten.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Army Wife Slogans
Life in the military makes you familiar with the various unit/branch slogans.
Such as the Marine Corp's "Semper Fi", 2nd ACR "Toujour Pret", and "Ne Desit Virtus" ("Let Valor Not Fail") and my favorite "Ranger On". One lesser known slogan is among the Army wives themselves.
My French is a little rusty but the slogan is this: "Mettez vos culottes grande fille et s'en occuper"
Roughly translated it means: Put on your big girl panties and deal with it!
(what did you expect something profound?)
Army wives are faced with enormous difficulty. Unfortunately, we can't solve all of our problems in less than an hour with commerical breaks for Tampex, Midol and Cialis. When our husbands deploy, go TDY or just simply to the field, chaos is sure to follow.
Our cars breakdown, our children get sick, and there seems to always be some sort of natural disaster. Since my husband deployed this last time (4 months ago), so far we've had multiple trips to the ER, 2 tornadoes, a flooded home, 2 Extremely ill parents, a rash of burglaries and an psychotic racoon living in my garage.
My new "pet" is apparently big enough to move a flak vest, and scare off 2 pest control men. One of which dropped of a cage and said he'd be right back. That was a month ago. One can only assume he's entered into some sort of witness protection program.
When things of this nature happen, we can sit down, cry and yell at whom ever is willing to listen. Or we can put on our big girl panties. I'll be the first to admit, this is easier said then done. There have been times, I've wanted to strangle someone with those panties instead of wearing them. However, logic sets in and I will typically realize the only thing that will get me is a visit from the MPs and a whole lot of paperwork done in my newly bared ass.
So the moral of todays blog...Being an Army wife, means not showing your ass. (unless they really deserve it, of course)
Such as the Marine Corp's "Semper Fi", 2nd ACR "Toujour Pret", and "Ne Desit Virtus" ("Let Valor Not Fail") and my favorite "Ranger On". One lesser known slogan is among the Army wives themselves.
My French is a little rusty but the slogan is this: "Mettez vos culottes grande fille et s'en occuper"
Roughly translated it means: Put on your big girl panties and deal with it!
(what did you expect something profound?)
Army wives are faced with enormous difficulty. Unfortunately, we can't solve all of our problems in less than an hour with commerical breaks for Tampex, Midol and Cialis. When our husbands deploy, go TDY or just simply to the field, chaos is sure to follow.
Our cars breakdown, our children get sick, and there seems to always be some sort of natural disaster. Since my husband deployed this last time (4 months ago), so far we've had multiple trips to the ER, 2 tornadoes, a flooded home, 2 Extremely ill parents, a rash of burglaries and an psychotic racoon living in my garage.
My new "pet" is apparently big enough to move a flak vest, and scare off 2 pest control men. One of which dropped of a cage and said he'd be right back. That was a month ago. One can only assume he's entered into some sort of witness protection program.
When things of this nature happen, we can sit down, cry and yell at whom ever is willing to listen. Or we can put on our big girl panties. I'll be the first to admit, this is easier said then done. There have been times, I've wanted to strangle someone with those panties instead of wearing them. However, logic sets in and I will typically realize the only thing that will get me is a visit from the MPs and a whole lot of paperwork done in my newly bared ass.
So the moral of todays blog...Being an Army wife, means not showing your ass. (unless they really deserve it, of course)
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Universal Healthcare??
In the Army world, we have our Tricare insurance to cover all of our medical needs. This is the biggest selling point for enlistment into the US Army. Being a mother of 3 small children,(one who fully believes himself to be a Ninja Turtle) one can quickly realize the value of health insurance.
However, once dealing with Tricare for so many years, one starts to wonder if putting the government in charge of all healthcare is the most "intelligent" option.
Don't get me wrong, I feel blessed to have healthcare. I don't believe anyone should go without proper care. But....
For us, if you choose the Tricare Prime option, (which you do if you live on/near post) all of your medical needs are met via the Army Community Hospital. This is typically convenient, but not always the best option.
Army Surgeons/Physicians are the best in the world. They are trained to do unthinkable things under great deals of pressure. So for the most part, I would choose an Army Surgeon/Doctor over a civilian any day. With the growth of the Army family, there just aren't enough Army Drs to go around. It is nothing to wait over a month for an appointment. So to handle the overflow they bring in Civilian doctors.
So we've gone from having the best healthcare in the world, to being treated by the lowest bidder. If you do not DEMAND to see an Army Physician you will typically be assigned to either an open civilian, a Family Care Nurse, or a Physicians Assistant.
This can leave a lot of loopholes in healthcare.
For ex: my son, has apparently had the same head cold for 5 yrs now.
The next problem, is we don't always see the same physician. We may see an Army Dr. today, a civilian dr for our follow up and a Family Care nurse for lab results.
Now I will give Tricare credit, for the attempt to rectify this situation. They have instituted a Primary Care Manager "program". This is just what it sounds like. You are assigned a Dr, nurse, or PA that you are to see on every visit. The problem with this is, its the military. People come and go on a daily basis. That Dr. you see today, may be in Afghanistan tomorrow.
So if our government has so many issues handling just the military, how are they going to handle civilians as well?
So my thought is this...since Army Doctors/Surgeons are the best, maybe we should start training civilian doctors under a hail of gunfire. Once a physician can prove he can remove a bullet, from a femoral artery using a pair of tweezers, a stick of gum and a bottle of Jack Daniels he can move on to the next phase of employment.
We need all the MacGuyver's we can rush through Med School.
However, once dealing with Tricare for so many years, one starts to wonder if putting the government in charge of all healthcare is the most "intelligent" option.
Don't get me wrong, I feel blessed to have healthcare. I don't believe anyone should go without proper care. But....
For us, if you choose the Tricare Prime option, (which you do if you live on/near post) all of your medical needs are met via the Army Community Hospital. This is typically convenient, but not always the best option.
Army Surgeons/Physicians are the best in the world. They are trained to do unthinkable things under great deals of pressure. So for the most part, I would choose an Army Surgeon/Doctor over a civilian any day. With the growth of the Army family, there just aren't enough Army Drs to go around. It is nothing to wait over a month for an appointment. So to handle the overflow they bring in Civilian doctors.
So we've gone from having the best healthcare in the world, to being treated by the lowest bidder. If you do not DEMAND to see an Army Physician you will typically be assigned to either an open civilian, a Family Care Nurse, or a Physicians Assistant.
This can leave a lot of loopholes in healthcare.
For ex: my son, has apparently had the same head cold for 5 yrs now.
The next problem, is we don't always see the same physician. We may see an Army Dr. today, a civilian dr for our follow up and a Family Care nurse for lab results.
Now I will give Tricare credit, for the attempt to rectify this situation. They have instituted a Primary Care Manager "program". This is just what it sounds like. You are assigned a Dr, nurse, or PA that you are to see on every visit. The problem with this is, its the military. People come and go on a daily basis. That Dr. you see today, may be in Afghanistan tomorrow.
So if our government has so many issues handling just the military, how are they going to handle civilians as well?
So my thought is this...since Army Doctors/Surgeons are the best, maybe we should start training civilian doctors under a hail of gunfire. Once a physician can prove he can remove a bullet, from a femoral artery using a pair of tweezers, a stick of gum and a bottle of Jack Daniels he can move on to the next phase of employment.
We need all the MacGuyver's we can rush through Med School.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Very Stereotypical of You.
One of the biggest stereotypes of the Army spouse, is that we all come from some backwoods podunk trailer park. One would think, none of us have an education beyond middle school and wear daisy dukes like they are high fashion. This is simply not true. FOR MOST OF US.
Unfortunately it only takes few to make a stereotype stick.
As I was in Wal-Mart today. (you don't have to be a trailer dweller to shop there!), I noticed the Creme de la Creme of Army wife stereotypes. She was sitting outside the Wal-Mart branch of McDonalds, crying. I noticed a young soldier, kneeling down in front of her. Whispering something, "heroic" in an attempt to calm her fears.
At first I thought, he was proposing and a small giggle came popping out. What says romance like a Wal-Mart McDonalds proposal?
As I got a little closer, (nosier) I realized he was saying, "its alright, its alright" This of course got my attn, until I noticed she was holding her belly. Immediately I noticed the fear on her face as I heard her pronounce, "she's not been moving". Any woman who's ever been pregnant has gone through this scare, the fear that something is wrong. So naturally I wanted to jump in to assist. But before I could the story takes an unusual turn.
The soldier still attempting to calm her fears, proclaims.."its ok, its too early to feel movement". This was apparently the wrong statement for him to make.
He barely gets the words out of his mouth, and its like the trailer door was swung open!Ellie Mae comes out swinging~~
The momentarily fearful momma to be, jumps up in her multicolored tank top and shorty shorts and yells. YA'LL JUST DON'T GET IT, I'MA FACING 25 TO LIFE!!!
Now, the fact that most people didn't even flinch at this statement, says a lot. I could never imagine a civilian world, where this statement would go unnoticed.
So you walk away, leaving that mess for the professionals. While wondering, what she had done to end up in this situation. Various scenarios went through my head. Possibly a botched liquor store robbery, a basement full of dead bodies?, maybe government espionage? (somehow I doubt this one)But whatever it was she better stock up on her Marlboro's now. I'd hate to be 9 months pregnant in a Federal "facility", without any smokes to call ma old man.
Unfortunately it only takes few to make a stereotype stick.
As I was in Wal-Mart today. (you don't have to be a trailer dweller to shop there!), I noticed the Creme de la Creme of Army wife stereotypes. She was sitting outside the Wal-Mart branch of McDonalds, crying. I noticed a young soldier, kneeling down in front of her. Whispering something, "heroic" in an attempt to calm her fears.
At first I thought, he was proposing and a small giggle came popping out. What says romance like a Wal-Mart McDonalds proposal?
As I got a little closer, (nosier) I realized he was saying, "its alright, its alright" This of course got my attn, until I noticed she was holding her belly. Immediately I noticed the fear on her face as I heard her pronounce, "she's not been moving". Any woman who's ever been pregnant has gone through this scare, the fear that something is wrong. So naturally I wanted to jump in to assist. But before I could the story takes an unusual turn.
The soldier still attempting to calm her fears, proclaims.."its ok, its too early to feel movement". This was apparently the wrong statement for him to make.
He barely gets the words out of his mouth, and its like the trailer door was swung open!Ellie Mae comes out swinging~~
The momentarily fearful momma to be, jumps up in her multicolored tank top and shorty shorts and yells. YA'LL JUST DON'T GET IT, I'MA FACING 25 TO LIFE!!!
Now, the fact that most people didn't even flinch at this statement, says a lot. I could never imagine a civilian world, where this statement would go unnoticed.
So you walk away, leaving that mess for the professionals. While wondering, what she had done to end up in this situation. Various scenarios went through my head. Possibly a botched liquor store robbery, a basement full of dead bodies?, maybe government espionage? (somehow I doubt this one)But whatever it was she better stock up on her Marlboro's now. I'd hate to be 9 months pregnant in a Federal "facility", without any smokes to call ma old man.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)