Hi-Speed Dr. Appointments!

Had my monthly trip to the Army Community Hospital today. I have to go in once a month for my B-12 shot. Its always a debate, is Anemia is really a big enough deal to bother with the trip. Sadly, there has been the occasion where the answer is NO.

You pull into the parking area, drive around for 20-30 minutes looking for not the perfect parking spot, but any parking spot. There you find one and you've driven around so long you don't care that its 10 freakin' miles from the door. But anywho...
so you get out, begin to put the baby in the stroller, and you realize, you forgot the stroller!

So then you pick up the 30lb bundle of joy and start the trek that I swear is completely uphill both ways! By the time you reach the door, you just hope the pit stains on your shirt aren't that obvious and the smell is kept to a minimum.

By that time, your little Angel (which by the way, so was Satan) wants to walk. After all, she's exhausted watching you struggle to get to the door. So she walks the last 30 feet to the waiting room, right after she stops to see the snack bar, spin in circles and wastes 10 min trying to decide if her shoes are on the right feet (trust me they aren't)

So we get to the waiting room, see what appears to be a mass panic to get to the check-in. Atleast 10 people in line for the one overworked clerk. A dozen sick kids coughing on you, and the one who always wants to touch you after wiping his nose on his hand. Then you look beyond the line and see HEAVEN. The clouds seem to have opened up and shined a ray of sunshine down on you! Its the AUTOMATED CHECK-IN SYSTEM.
I run to the first one...it has been unhooked.
I run to the second one...it has apparently been switched to short bus mode. You swipe your ID card, and it runs, and runs and runs. Then nothing.
So I get to machine #3...This one's not going to get me. I'm slick. Instead of swiping my ID card, I'm just gonna do it manually.
I enter my social security #. It pulls up my name. Then my address, I click check-in thinking I'm home free. Then I get "USER DOES NOT EXIST", message. Not, appointment doesn't exist, or incorrect information, but I am now being heckled by a computer.
At this point I feel like a meth addicted spider monkey trying to get the banana out of the box. So as I am about the break into tears, I hear someone standing behind me.
Oh good, this one works. Yes, its the same one I've been fighting with. I pull myself together and swipe my card. OH LORD HALLELUJAH, THE ANGELS ARE SINGING, THE MACHINE WORKED!
I am now checked in for my appointment! Now, with the help of the hi-speed computer systems, I can go to the back to have a sharp instrument plunged into my bicep.
Life is good!

Survivor: Afghanistan

Being a spouse of a deployed soldier, I a constantly asked....How do you cope?
Well, the answer is easy. I watch a lot of TV and have a vivid imagination.
Sounds pointless enough, but everybody has their coping mechanisms.
I prefer not to think of my husband in a "warzone". But think of him in a more harmless setting. Such as reality tv. We know pretty much nothing on Reality Tv, is real, so it works out for the best.

Some of my ideas for the new CBS season:

Survivor: Afghanistan- A platoon of 16 people, compete against opposing platoons for the Purple Heart, Bronze star and the all coveted Medal of Honor. They will compete in endurance challenges lasting 24-48 hours. They will learn how to survive under a hail of gunfire. The luxury competitions will consists of R&R leave to surrounding middle eastern countries taken completely on donkey back.

Big Brother- a troop of men will be placed in close quarters inside of a cave or abandoned factory partially exploded by previous insurgents. They will be stacked one on top of the other. They will compete for luxury items such as a shower and indoor plumbing. Those who come in last are sentenced to "poop" duty. They will be in charge of burning all fecal matter for the week.

Jihad Shore: This is an expose on Battalion life. The camera crews will follow the upper ranking members around, while they hang around the FOB, complain about lack of air conditioning and how depressed the soldiers around them look.

One of my personal favorites....Amazing Race: Middle East
Teams of 2 will compete for an around the Middle East tour done entirely on camels.

It may not be much, but my TV and my imagination have gotten me through many a deployment and time away. The good news is....Military Health insurance covers therapy.

Thank You Mr. President??

I wouldn't say I'm Anti-Obama. Or I wouldn't have said that anyway until recently.
I never really cared for his policies, or most of his ideals, but he's the President so the title deserves some respect.

So within the last few days we've seen:

The Obama Family vacation to Panama City, Florida. Where they swam in the Gulf to prove the waters were safe. Hmm...well I'm sure the waters are safe there. Seeing as that area wasn't harmed by the oil spill. Take a swim off the coast of Louisiana and let us know if its any safer in that region. But I'm sure he was just confused seeing as Panama City is one of the 57 states, right? lol

We've seen Michelle Obama's trip to Spain. That was truly exciting.
We've seen Sasha Obama's hole in one at the mini-golf course, which was riveting.

But the one that gets me pissed off the most? Barack Obama backs building of Islamic Supercenter at site of 9/11.

Now, I could care less what your religion.
First...I don't believe anything should be built upon that site, with the exception of a memorial!

Second...The WTCs were bombed numerous times. All under the premise of religion.
Thousands of people lost their lives, because of Islamic Extremist.
I DO NOT BELIEVE ALL MUSLIMS ARE BAD! However, when Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols blew up the Oklahoma City FBI Building, did we put a Christian Church on top?
When, the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, did we put in a Buddhist Temple?
Of course not!

So my adversion to this stems from why? Why do they need to put one in this particular location? Why not a mile down the street, where nobody would care?

Is is a sign of victory? Were we secretly conquered while we slept? But why
would a man, sworn to protect this country be ok with this?
I understand religious freedom. My husband fights so you can have that right.

Everyone has the right to be ignorant. But that doesn't mean you should abuse that right!
So Thank You Mr. President. There is nothing like betraying your country to bring out the best in it.

Respect the Sacrifice

Approximately 10 days ago I received a phone call from a good friend of mine. Its not one I'll soon forget. I was making breakfast when my cell phone started ringing.
I knew it was her by my ringtone, Sarah Palin's Redneck Woman speech. It was just almost 830 am, being so early it sent a bit of concern through me. So I quickly answered the phone, only to have my fear realized.

The first thing I hear, are tears. The next thing, "can you please come over?".
Of course, I could! It took me a minute to fully understand what was going on.
She had just recieved a phone call from Rear Detachment. Her husband, who is also stationed in Afghanistan, was seriously injured in the line of duty.
She didn't have many details at that point, just that he was stable. So I called the babysitter to stay with my kids and arrived about 1 hr and 1/2 later. By the time I had gotten there the news was a little more clear. But not much less frightening.
Her 2 children greeted me at the door, they seemed in wonderful spirits despite the news. They went on to play as she filled me in.

Jason, was with other soldiers when he stepped upon an IED. The idea of what could have happened is overwhelming, and makes what did happen seem like a miracle. He lost his leg, and was still unconscious. The extent of his injuries were not yet known. It took nearly a week before injuries could be confirmed.
He lost sight in one eye. After a surgery they determined he could keep the eye, but he could never see again.

I spoke to her a few nights ago, she said he was in great spirits and joking around, making the best of things. Its been an absolute hell on her. The stress, has literally made her ill. But the spirits are high! Its one of those situations you have to literally THANK GOD. There is no way he would have made it through that situation without some sort of divine protection.

Tammy, is one in a million. I say good friend, only because I can't think of a better term. She's the type that you know you can count on, and Jason is in good hands.

Now on a lighter side....Just because Jason was injured does not get him out of programming my DVD player and all other electronics for me. The day before he left for Afghanistan they came over and hooked up my Wii to netflix, and figured out my DVD player for me after I tried for 6 months. I threatened to send a Red Cross message if it messed up again. He promised he'd catch the next flight home if my Wii busted. (Somehow I don't think he was serious)lol

You don't have to like the war, you don't have to like the military, you don't even have to like the man. But always respect the sacrifice.

You know these two people must be pretty awesome. They have me as a friend.

Where Every Day Is Tax Free!

Today was the beginning of the statewide Tax Free Holiday weekend! We can shop our hearts content on anything relating to back to school. Clothes, supplies, electronics and more.
Now AAFES is our military PX affiliate. Their big sales pitch to counter act this sales holiday, Every day is tax free!
This is true. There are no taxes charged on a military installation.
However, AAFES seems to forget that we are Army. We don't have the money to shop there.
When you have 3 kids, all still undergoing massive growth spurts. Its just not feasible that we spend $60 on a pair of pants for each child. The PX is set up like a department store. Which looks nice, but so does feeding your children.
So every year to combat this holiday, we are bombarded with "Everyday is tax-free" flyers.
So being the redneck I am, I went to Wal-Mart. As did everybody else apparently.
You walk down the aisles, elbow to elbow, rushing for the Elmers Glue. You hear panicked people looking for pencil top erasers, you see folders flying overhead, as one tries to figure out prong or no prong!!
There seemed to be a shortage of Crayola brand crayons. I know this because of the amount of tears flooding the aisles. IT HAS TO BE CRAYOLA!!! (and no it wasn't a child)
Then you hit the lunchbox aisle....(more than picked over) my son has a choice of Tinkerbell or Lisa Frank. I hope he doesn't get beat up. Do they typically beat up a kid in Kindergarten for that kind of thing?
But hey the kid wore a tie with a t-shirt to school today, if he can handle that he can handle anything.
Tomorrow starts day 2 of the holiday. Being a Saturday, I'm sure it will be a zoo. All the crazy women trying to get good deals on socks and underwear.
So I better get to bed, I gotta get up early to show them how its done!

Is This Where I Spit or Swallow?

I was truly saddened today when I realized I had missed the Wine and Beer tasting event sponsored by various Army Community business' here on post.
If I had only thought to by my tickets upfront, (one for me and 3 for my kids of course, lol just kidding really, hang up the phone!)
I could have swished Chablis and chugged Heinekin with the rest of the Army Community.

I heard they have a plethra of international beers for my liking and wines galore.
I wonder if they provide a beer funnel? Is the keg stand an additional charge?

I've always wanted to go to a fancy wine tasting, talk about the difference in white and red wines, which wine is "dry", and which goes with which Chicken or Fish? But the one thing I've never understood about wine tasting, the the swish and spit.

Maybe its just my lack of culture, my redneck upbringing or my frugal spending habits, but why spit? If you feel the need to spit the booze, you probably shouldn't buy a whole bottle. (I'm just saying)If it was any good, it would be gone.

As for the beers, they promised a variety of specialty beers. I've never understood this label either. Whats so special about it? Does one beer get you more hammered than the other beer? Does one come with a chauffer to get you home? Its all so confusing to me.

Its kind of a shame I missed it, I could have classed up the place. Once I understood the whole spit or swallow rule, and figured out how to tap the kep properly anyways. The flier said they had heavy hors 'douerves. I wonder if that means cocktail weinies or pigs in a blanket?

Volunteer-If you like it or not!

Living Army life, has a lot of "voluntary" demands. A lot of things on an Army installation are run by people who are willing to sacrifice their time and energy in an attempt to make life better for the rest of us.
THESE PEOPLE SHOULD BE COMMENDED!

Some of them get up everyday, work their long work days, deal with family crisis of their own, then put in a few more hours of unpaid, unrecognized labor. I fully believe every person living on an Army installation should do their part at some point in Army Life.

Now I'm not saying, we should walk around in candy striper uniforms and try to accommodate the biggest of assholes. But we should work together as a community.

The Army has a plethra of volunteer opportunities. From the Army Community Services to the Family Readiness Groups.
You can do everything from paperwork to dress as a clown at childrens functions.

A lot of the people you yell at on an Army Base are not paid employees. We sometimes forget this and take them for granted. Even I have at times had to remind myself of this fact.

Yes its true, we as Army wives have sacrificed enough for the Army. Its true, that Army life can leave us wanting, and its true that we aren't treated as the royalty we believe we should be. But its also true, that the little bit we do have has to be done by someone. If its not us, then who will it be?

Army life reminds me of the Little Red Hen. She asks for help planting seeds, cutting wheat and grinding it for use. Nobody wants to help. But as soon as she bakes the bread, everybody wants a slice.
You can't complain about your lot in life, if you aren't willing to help make it better. If you can't help your community, then why should your community help you?