Is This Where I Spit or Swallow?

I was truly saddened today when I realized I had missed the Wine and Beer tasting event sponsored by various Army Community business' here on post.
If I had only thought to by my tickets upfront, (one for me and 3 for my kids of course, lol just kidding really, hang up the phone!)
I could have swished Chablis and chugged Heinekin with the rest of the Army Community.

I heard they have a plethra of international beers for my liking and wines galore.
I wonder if they provide a beer funnel? Is the keg stand an additional charge?

I've always wanted to go to a fancy wine tasting, talk about the difference in white and red wines, which wine is "dry", and which goes with which Chicken or Fish? But the one thing I've never understood about wine tasting, the the swish and spit.

Maybe its just my lack of culture, my redneck upbringing or my frugal spending habits, but why spit? If you feel the need to spit the booze, you probably shouldn't buy a whole bottle. (I'm just saying)If it was any good, it would be gone.

As for the beers, they promised a variety of specialty beers. I've never understood this label either. Whats so special about it? Does one beer get you more hammered than the other beer? Does one come with a chauffer to get you home? Its all so confusing to me.

Its kind of a shame I missed it, I could have classed up the place. Once I understood the whole spit or swallow rule, and figured out how to tap the kep properly anyways. The flier said they had heavy hors 'douerves. I wonder if that means cocktail weinies or pigs in a blanket?