Conspiracy!

I've decided there is some sort of Army wide conspiracy just to piss me off, or drive me crazy at the least.
At times I imagine a council, of sorts. All sitting around a table, taking votes "all in favor say I, all opposed say nay!"

In general, there are very few things will set me off. So I believe the game plan is to see how many little irksome things can be piled on top of each other to create one mass clusterf@#$.

In all my time with the Army, Lord knows I've dealt with insane issues. For the most part, I've handled it pretty well....I believe. We've had deployment after deployment. Babies and surgeries, alone. Insane late night phonecalls from concerned spouses. Emails from moms, dads, and in-laws wanting random information. Break-ins and even a drive by shooting and I've never really complained, and I've definitely never crumbled.

So...after all this time, I've decided IF YOU CAN'T BEAT THEM, JOIN THEM.

From now on, I will be the wife who calls Rear D because her toilet won't flush. I think I will call the FRG Leader at 3 am, because I am concerned for my missing cat. Then at 4, I will call her back because I realized I don't even have a cat. I will call the hospital appointment line to schedule a blood pressure check, then strip down and tell them I need a physical instead. When they refuse and tell me to get dressed, I will call Rear D. Why? I DON'T KNOW!
I think I will call housing, because there is a racoon stealing my underwear, and I wanna know what they are gonna do about it. Then I'm gonna call ACS, tell them I wanna sign up for soccer. When they tell me I dialed the wrong number, I'm gonna yell at them for picking up the wrong phone.
I'm going to call the MP station and tell them my deaf neighbor is making too much noise, and complain because the blind one keeps driving over my bushes.
Then, I think I will call everybody in the troop, and tell them how AMWAY has changed my life.

So to all you who I know are plotting against me......YOU CAN NEVER OUT CRAZY ME!

Now if you'll excuse me, there is something with a child-proof cap that is calling my name.