Sense of Control

I've been struggling lately with the idea of Freewill versus Fate. Its that feeling like we have absolutely no control over our own lives, so the choices we make don't necessarily matter.

I am not a religious person by any means. But I am a faithful one. I do not believe any religion has it right, nor do I believe any religion has it completely wrong. (well maybe a couple, but thats for another day, lol)

If we choose to take the long way to work, and by doing so we avoided a 12 car pile up. Did we really "choose" that path, or was it chosen for us?

Being an Army wife we struggle with this thought on a daily basis. Not just for our own lives, but for that of our family.

If our soldier hadn't traded patrols so he could call home would he still be alive? If I hadn't insisted he re-enlist would we have a better life? Would the outcome still be the same? If he hadn't taken that one assignment would the entire universe be re-routed? If he had a different job would I still be alone?

In general my thought is a combination of the two... freewill and fate.

I believe the big things in life are mapped out for us. Marriage, children, death etc.
But I believe how we get there is up to us.

For example:

Death is inevitable. The moment we are born is the moment we begin to die. Knowing this gives us 2 options. We can get up every morning, cry, stomp our feet and pout because we know that one day everything will be gone.
or
We can make the most of our time. Learn whatever it is we were put here to learn. Love whoever it is we were put here to love, and live however we were put here to live. But the point is you have a choice to live courageously or to die cowardly.

A person doesn't always realize the impact they have on another. Sometimes a simple smile is enough to change the way another views their own life. But that same frown can destroy another. Or does it? Did they make that choice to be happy or did we make them happy? By "making" that person smile did we alter the path of the world?
If that's true, then what did we do by making them cry?

I find irony in the fact, that every day, we wake up and make choices that ultimately we have no choice in making.

Living this life you constantly feel like you have lost all sense of control. But the reality is, maybe we never had it to begin with?

Maybe once we accept we have no control, we can enjoy the world put before us.