It seems like an old wives tale, or a childs story at best, but the Deployment Gnome is alive and well. Anyone familiar with deployments has most likely heard of this obnoxious little coneheaded man. Women have told stories of this gnome for years. Facebook pages have been dedicated to the location of the Deployment Gnome like he is a wanted man.
The Deployment Gnome travels from post to post wreaking havoc on the unsuspecting wives of deployed soldiers. His M.O. is always different, yet you know its always him.
For some, he may tamper with electricity, others hide your car keys. I have long suspected this Gnome of letting various wildlife into my garage and lately hiding my Wii Remote.
You hear stories of the evil being and believe it is the stories of mad women who have just been without their husbands for too long. But I am here to tell you, he is REAL. He's waiting, lurking outside your homes waiting for your husband to deploy so he can strike.
The Deployment Gnome is fond of children. He loves to ensure they are able to easily locate everything from candy to your most precious fragile knick knacks. He stands invisible and whispers, "its ok, she won't mind" in their ears. He speaks to them in their sleep, ensuring they know the phrases: "Daddy said I could, I hate you, and I don't know".
Anyone suspecting they are a victim of the Deployment Gnome should contact their local Behavioral Health Specialist, I can tell you he won't let up until you fill him with valium.
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