Drop and give me 20!! (dollars)

With all the recent news reports, issues and overall insanity regarding Military wives in general, I've decided on a course of action that can benefit all involved.
ARMY WIFE BOOT CAMP.
It will be a mandatory program before being allowed to marry into the Army.

Basically, it will be led by a group of seasoned, hard core "OLD Army" wives. We will lead according to a ranking system similar to that of the soldier. Time/MOS will determine the ranking position. Notice I didn't say Pay Grade! Our own Time/MOS. A spouse who has been doing this job for 10 yrs and her soldier is say infantry, would outrank, a wife of 5 yrs whos soldier never deploys.
Wives of retired soldiers would automatically be in a command position.

We want to get as accurate training as possible to ensure these new "recruits" are up to the challenge of daily Army life.

We will learn skill sets, such as
Complaining properly
How to go 2 wks without your spouse or a nervous breakdown
Case lot sales...friend or foe
Volunteering: You will do this willingly, if you like it or not!
and
Family Readiness Groups: we are a lot meaner than they seem on TV.

Pushups are not mandatory for this training camp, because we will learn the proper protocol for griping at the post gym. We do not run in a traditional sense, but use training dummies resembling our soldiers leaving for deployment.(like a greyhound after a rabbit) I find this is the best way to get a wife to run.

Graduation from training camp is score based. The wife who scores highest on field activities will be considered for special privileges. The wife who scores lowest however.... she will be recycled until she either dies, gives up or the soldier who chose her has lost interest.
Once graduation is complete...she will go before a review board. This review board will consist of current Troop FRG members. She will then be approved/denied for marriage.
If she is approved she will be given further instruction and a mentor for her 1st 2 yrs as an Army wife. Those who are denied, unfortunately....will be shot from a catapult over the gates to Post entrance. The soldier who had picked her will be repeatedly shot in the ass with a pellet gun, until he decides to do better.