I've long thought there was something sinister behind the workings of the Deployment Gnome. Most just consider him a mischief maker or a nuisance. I think it is deeper than that.
For those who don't know of the Deployment Gnome, he's pure evil. A seemingly innocent gnome, who sneaks into the homes of the wives of deployed soldiers and wreaks havoc. Hides car keys, flushes cell phones, and corrupts children.
After a long thought process, I have arrived at the only logical conclusion regarding the Deployment Gnome. He's a terrorist. He systematically travels from post to post during deployments. The amount of travel involved makes me think he is just a small part of a sleeper cell of Deployment Gnomes.
The strategy: Psychological Warfare
The Gnome, works diligently to ensure the insanity levels of the wives left behind. He corrupts our children, pushes our buttons and continues to be a nuisance the entire deployment. I can just see the tele-conferences held between him and his cousins the Roaming Gnome and Garden Gnome.
He has let the air out of tires, told the kids broccoli is bad for them, and flushed my cell phone twice. Sent my son door to door to collect "cheese" (don't ask), told my youngest her name is "your majesty" and my oldest that it must be ok if her friends do it. He has previously hidden my Wii remote, only to have it turn up months later on top of the Wii! He pushed my satellite dish over, and made my kitchen lights go off.......wait for maintenace to show, then he turns them back on! He has made one toilet leak, from the bottom only to seal it before maintenance arrives.
I'm pretty sure he is trying to get the maintenance man to have me committed.
He has flooded my toilets 3 times then hidden my plungers.
So with that, he must be an Al Quaeda Operative. Damn you Bin Laden, Damn you.
The war on terror must be taken up a notch. I will get you, you little gnome.
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