Ranking Segregation?

Back in the day, it was the norm for Commissioned Officers Spouses and Enlisted Spouses to avoid fraternization. It was looked upon as taboo to say the least for any spouse of the Non-Commissioned to co-exist with those in the ranks of the Commissioned.

I can remember in the beginning for me going to my first spouse social and people gasping for air as I spoke to the Colonel's wife. I remember being pulled aside by some of the enlisted wives and getting the "lecture". That was just something they couldn't believe I would do. Being new to the Army I thought, I had just made the largest sin ever made. I was horribly upset with myself. How could I have befriended someone so "above" me? She was a very pleasant woman, who would call and invite me to do random things, shopping excursions, dinner and such and I just remember making up various excuses. Not because I didn't like her in the least, but because I was scared. Not just for the "rumors" about fraternizing, but I had it in my head it would hurt her to be seen with me, the lowly enlisted wife.
It took me a while to get over that fear. Maybe it was age, time, or just my extroverted personality saying enough is enough, but eventually you come to terms with the fact they are just people.

All that wife wanted to do was be my friend, she got lonely like the rest of us. She needed to talk, vent, relax and let herself step down from the pedestal that others seem to insist she stand upon.

We as wives DO NOT WEAR A RANK. It is perfectly acceptable for wives of all backgrounds to depend upon each other. Especially in this time of war. For the most part, I will say we as wives have come a long way in this aspect. Some of my best friends have ranked from PFC wives to wives of Post Commanders. I will say we are all in the same boat. When I see a wife, I try really hard not to determine the rank of the soldier. I don't want that to become a factor in how we see each other.

With all of that said, it saddens me to see that this type of segregation still exists amongst the ranks of the military spouse. The best way I have heard it described is the "Green to Gold" issue. (now for soldiers this term means something completely different!) Amongst wives it is a way of saying the Enlisted (green) spouses will be treated as less by the Commissioned (gold).

Maybe its a persons perception as to if this is true or not. Like I said in my case, it was my own fears creating this issue. But I will say its not always the case.
I refuse to generalize about a group of women because of the rank their husband wears! However I will say even in this day and age there are women who insist upon wearing their husbands rank and I have seen them pull stunts that even the President wouldn't attempt.

So all that I am asking, is treat the wives you meet as people not rank. I've never been through boot camp, along with the majority of others. I don't deserve to be looked down upon for one rank, nor put on a pedestal for another. I'm not a soldier, if I wanted to be judged for the accessories on my uniform, I would have joined the Army.

The rank on a soldiers uniform, doesn't automatically grant the spouse entrance to the Pearly Gates, nor does it determine the level of hell you will achieve.