Army Wife Instruction Guide

I remember when I first married into the Military. It was a scary transition from civilian life. I myself, was guilty of believing what I saw on television to be true.
So, one day in clothing sales, I came across a handbook. The Army Wife Handbook.
By the cover it seemed to be the equivalent of the bible for Army Wives. I remember thinking, I have got to have this book. This is the answer to my prayers! Uh,yeah...it wasn't.

I read the book, front to back, scanned and re-scanned for pertinent information. Only to be more terrified than I was before. Customs and courtesies, rank, housing, BAQ(H), Spouse Socials and Teas, even correct attire for a formal event. I was never going to survive!

The section on Army Housing was something of a horror novel. After reading the info on housing protocol, I slept in fear someone was going to come into my home in the middle of the night with an M-16 and white glove. My floors were mopped more than once a day, in case I was to have a surprise inspection. I was terrified to say the least.

After a few months of course, I started to ease up. Somethings, you have to experience for yourself. No handbook can give you an accurate account of Army Life.
Reading about brain surgery, doesn't make me understand the brain any better. Just like reading about Army life, doesn't make me a "proper" wife.

There have been a lot of changes in the Army since I first joined this life. I'm sure an updated handbook would read a lot differently. However, one thing remains the same. Over-complication. Books of this sort, have a tendency to lead the reader to believe Army Wives are the Vision of Perfection. We put on our Sunday best, our large brim hats and our gloves. We go to spouse socials, with our impeccable manners and raise our pinky as we support our fellow wives and re-affirm our love for Army life.
People have no clue how far off they are on this one!

To better explain an Army wife lets make a few changes.
Sunday Best= sweat pants
Fancy Hat= pony tail
Spouse social=Bar
Impeccable manners=Don't burp at the table
Pinky=middle finger
Support=talk about the ones who aren't there
and
Re-affirmation=complain they are deploying again

So needless to say, my Army Wife manual is tucked away somewhere, that it cannot wreak any more havoc on an unsuspecting wife. (7th level of Hell preferably)
Army wives are not prim and proper. We are mean and tough. Our language is bad enough to make our soldiers blush, and we are rarely perfect.
Which is something your handbook will never reveal.