Just A Mom?

I've been thinking back to the beginning of the war for some reason. I remember sitting in an AFTB (Army Family Team Building) class and speaking to a woman in the class. Her husband was a retired NCO, and her son had decided to follow in dad's footsteps and join the Army. Her son had recently deployed to Iraq and she like any mother was concerned. But that concern was overshadowed by her son's new wife.

It seems before he had deployed he decided to make his relationship "official". Which is something a lot of soldiers will do before they deploy. The problem however, laid within the new wife.

When a soldier is deployed we expect the wife to be upset, scared and lonely. But what we sometimes forget, is that soldier has a mother. A woman who raised him, cared for him, and ensured his safety well after his 18th birthday.
Like any mother, her concern for her son was intense. She tried to become involved with his troop and unit. She just asked to be kept in the loop. So I was shocked, when I heard "you're just his mom".

Now I'm not saying that in general a man's wife should not be a priority in his life. But for a wife, to believe she has the entitlement to tell his mother "you are just his mom", is appalling to me. I watched as this seasoned Army wife, cried silently. The shock of that statement, and the pain that it caused was overwhelming.

The FRG was not of much help for the mother, unfortunately. No one would call her, keep her updated. She must call the Leader to pry any type of information. They insisted on backing up the idea that she "was just a mom".

Back when the war initially began, communication was nearly non-existent. Sometimes a soldier would only be able to make one 5 min phone call a month. So of course, he's going to use that call for his wife and children. Which brought maternal communication at a halt.

Its hard being an Army Wife of a deployed soldier. But I know I can handle the job.
However, to watch my son, deploy is a completely different subject.
God forbid, if something were to happen to my husband, I would be crushed. But I know I could one day recover. If that same thing were to happen to my son, there is no coming back. My children are my reason for living. So for someone to say, "you're just a mom" is unacceptable.

I only hope these wives who believe they are a replacement to the original woman in his life, will one day feel the pain of that statement.