Almost There!

As I finally wrap up, what has been a very long deployment, I start to make plans for the return of the spousal unit.

I make grocery lists, cleaning lists and even list of all my lists. Its kind of sad really. As I'm looking at all my lists, I'm thinking how am I ever going to get all this finished in time. So I do what all overworked, stressed out Army wife does...
I say screw it, throw the lists away and turn on Young and the Restless.

I've come to the conclusion, that maybe I've previously set the bar too high. My husband comes home from a long deployment, where the amenities are non-existent, sleeping in close quarters with other grown men, who are all waiting for the next shipment of Arid Extra Dry. Is he really going to look at my basket of unfolded laundry, casserole, and offer of (possibly free) sex and go back to Afghanistan?

After all the time and deployments, we all react the same way to their coming home.
House must be spotless. Hair, nails and make up done. Favorite foods waiting for their approval. The new outfit to accentuate all the hard work we put in trying to lose that extra 10 lbs before they return. Yeah...not this time.

I think this time I may show up in my pajama's, ponytail and holding a candybar. I'm sure the local news would love to see the Army wife in her natural habitat. Granted, I can't guarantee my husband would act like he knew me, but the fact is...I'm tired. I've often thought when he gets off the plane, I should hand over the 3 kids, tell him there are chicken nuggets in the freezer and run like John Walsh is hot on my trail.

Now somebody reading this is going to say to themselves...OMG this is horrible. I would never say that about my family. To you I will say, you must not be an Army wife. So you don't get a vote.

Now in the interest of my obvious desire to follow the rules and regulations of Army life. I will follow all rules set forth upon their arrival. When we arrive at the rendezvous point...I will not bring alcohol, fire arms/weapons, or balloons. Which quite honestly ruins my plans of drunkenly shooting at balloon animals to pass the time but hey, rules are rules! (and I am all about rules!).

(no balloon animals were harmed in the posting of this blog)

The content of this blog is to be taken in a joking manner. Anyone feeling threatened by the posting of this blog should accept my apologies now for this and all future blogs in which I'm sure you will be greatly offended. Please, let me know if you are offended in anyway. I'll see if I have extra balloons to ease the pain. I hear balloons are of a great comfort for insecurity and anal retention.