It's A Wrap!

It has been a long, tough year but it has come to a wrap for most of us. I wish I could say we all escaped unscathed but unfortunately thats never the case.

My husband has been home for about 3 weeks now. The others are slowly filtering in. With any luck and the grace of GOD the rest of us will have our soldiers shortly.

Being an Army wife is tough. But we have got to be tougher. I will be the first to admit, that I have my moments where I just want to cave. Deployments are hard. But what I find to be the absolutely hardest part, is when they return.

Don't get me wrong. I am not an advocate of war. I don't want our soldiers to sacrifice anything more than absolutely necessary. I would be thrilled to know that there will be no more war and we can all live in our happy huts for the rest of eternity. I'm just saying that the adjustments to them coming home can be intense.

Now to keep myself out of marital trouble for the time being, lol, I will say its gone pretty well this last few weeks. I have finally had a chance to sleep in, I got a spa day and I've even gotten breakfast in bed! So do not take anything I am about to say as anything derogatory towards my own soldier or anyones for that matter.

Living this life, one becomes all to familiar, all too quickly with the issues one will face upon re-deployment. We as wives are told we must be "strong". We must handle everything on our own and smile while doing it. (that rarely happens)
We become adept at being a superhero and perfecting the balancing act, that when our partner returns we have to learn how to balance all over again. We go from being the one and only in control. To sharing responsibilities. Whether it be with the children or paying bills its a balancing act. We have been able to come and go as we please, to having to check in before we run to the shoppette. Its a huge adjustment. So you have to give yourselves time. Lots of time. It takes about 2 months in my house before we start to feel normal. The kids need that period of adjustment to realize there is another sheriff in town. The wife needs that time to learn how to depend on the other half.

Which brings me to the soldier. The biggest problem I've seen among married soldiers in regards to their family isn't the well publicized PTSD. But its that expectation that life will be the same as they left it. They come home and quickly realize, the world kept revolving and changing while they were gone. They may have left behind a mousy, dependant wife with a toddler. But came home to a self-sufficient, strong, independent female and a nearly grown child. We aren't the same women you leave behind. We change. We grow. We adapt.

Now in regards to the soldier, we wives have also got to learn to be non-judgemental and patient. The fact is, these soldiers are coming home from a warzone. Bad things happen. Those bad things will be carried with these men/women for the rest of their lives. We have got to be able to listen and not judge. We have got to be able to accept they may not sleep as well as we'd like. They have also been changed. Some for the better, some for the worse. Its a huge adjustment for them to go from being a soldier who has to kill for survival, to a husband who has to ensure the survival of his family.

We as Army wives have only begun to be strong. Its not called the toughest job in the ARMY for nothing.