Merry Christmas (belated)

I'm only 4 days late! But in my defense I've been out of town, I'm tired and I'm just lazy.

We had an pretty good Christmas this year. By the looks of it someone would think my children are either extraordinary or held Santa at gunpoint. We got to see family we haven't seen in years, some of which my children got to meet for the first time. Overall, I'd say it was a wonderful Christmas.

The worst part is probably that 8 hour drive (each way) with 3 children. Thank goodness for portable dvd players. However, if I had to hear High School Musical any more I can't guarantee I wouldn't have swerved into a light pole.

My favorite part about going home to visit, is probably the food. Missouri has the hands down best Mexican and Chinese food. You'd think with the diversity of an Army base the food selections would be great, but they arent'. I have yet to find any good Chinese. (food not people, I'm sure all the people are wonderful).

But all good things must come to an end. So home is where I went. When I pulled onto post I seen the snow covered ground, the gate guards standing in the cold, and the Menorah in the middle of the nativity scene??? Now this is where I get confused.

Granted I'm not the utmost authority on the Jewish culture. But, I think that may be a little out of place. If I can remember from Sunday school, Jews aren't the biggest supporters of our Jesus. Now I remember the basics...Jesus was Jewish etc..
But, I don't remember the "Jews for Jesus" campaign.

I guess I understand the whole "political correctness" aspect of having all religions validated etc..I'm just not sure, putting a Jewish symbol into a scene depicting the celebration of the birth of "our" Jesus is correct for anyone. Now somebody will inevitably question why I put "our" Jesus. No I'm not trying to keep him all to myself. I'm not staking claim to the father, son or the holy ghost. Different religions, including Christianity and the Jewish culture have different ideas on the date and identity of the true Jesus Christ. That is the only reason I put "our". Because my background recognizes him as the Son of God, born approximately December 25. But I am not a Priest, Rabbi, or even a Wiccan Goddess therefore, not the best person to question regarding religious differences. To be completely honest, I could careless what another person believes. To each their own. As far as I know, I've never met God, let alone had a Q&A session with him (or her)to know who's right. All I will say about this, is if I'm wrong about him and/or Heaven, I don't get to go to a place that doesn't exist. If I'm right...then it sucks to be those who aren't! lol

But anyway back to my Merry Christmas blog. Christmas on an Army base, is like Christmas anywhere else. Just less men. When we got home, Santa had left presents here for the kids as well. So we attempted to gather around the webcam so daddy could see the kids open presents as it happened. We spent most of our time, saying "wait a minute, we lost daddy again", "don't open that yet", and "there goes the camera again". After about half an hour, I gave up and just typed descriptions. "She got an art set, she's excited. He got a ds game, he's happy. She got a book, she's pissed" etc...

As we finally get to the end of the year long deployment, the worst part is being so close to Christmas. Just a little bit earlier and he would have actually been here this time. You get so close, but still just out of reach. It would have been nice to have our family together without a computer separating us for Christmas. But I guess such is the life of an Army wife.

1+1=11

When your soldier is deployed, you have a lot of quiet time at night. Now I'm not saying thats necessarily a bad thing. For the first few months it can be almost heavenly. After a long day, the kids are asleep. You finally got that warm bath you've been craving and all is right in the world. So...begins the problem.

As one may have noticed, I harbor a slight tendency towards the ADD side of life.
Honestly, it's taken me 3 hours to write this much, because I keep getting distracted by something shiny. When they first told me ADD may be an issue, I said
"what... I wasn't paying attention". Then they said something about birds or ink pens or something, I still wasn't really listening. Oh, that reminds me I need to finish wrapping Christmas presents.

Oh, but anyway back to my quiet time. So you're sittin alone at night. You've watched the latest marathon of Vampire Diaries, imagined what your life would be like if a werewolf loved you, and wondered how accurate CSI:Miami really is...now what?

Being a person with an imagination such as mine, it begins to wander. By wander I mean an hyperactive Alzheimer's patient with a concussion.
Tonights quandry...
What would life be like if my entire family changed their middle name to Ray?
Jay Ray, Chrissy Ray, Sissy Ray, Bubba Ray and M-ray. I may have to have another child just so I could name him Ray Ray. (fyi:these of course aren't their real first names, I'm not that redneck!)
Where this absurd question came from, I believe it started with fish. Let me explain: I was thinking about how different my life has turned. When I first went to college, my major was Marine Biology. Which of course, made me think of dolphins, which made the leap to sharks, which naturally made the leap to the stingray. From the stingray, obviously I made the connection to Billy Ray. From Billy Ray, I started thinking about trailer parks and what it would be like to live in a trailer with a whole house full of kids named Ray.

I haven't always been like this. At one time, I was super quiet, reserved and dare I say even timid. Then somebody convinced me to think outside the box (speaking of which I could really use a taco). So I did. Then the bastard stole my box!

I'm sure somewhere out there some Jack@$$ is enjoying my box (get it jack in a box, haha-or for you Rudolph enthusiast a Charlie in the box). Although I do occasionally miss the snuggliness and security of my box..I find the fresh air satisfying. Besides I can't be ADD. I suck at math.

Sense of Control

I've been struggling lately with the idea of Freewill versus Fate. Its that feeling like we have absolutely no control over our own lives, so the choices we make don't necessarily matter.

I am not a religious person by any means. But I am a faithful one. I do not believe any religion has it right, nor do I believe any religion has it completely wrong. (well maybe a couple, but thats for another day, lol)

If we choose to take the long way to work, and by doing so we avoided a 12 car pile up. Did we really "choose" that path, or was it chosen for us?

Being an Army wife we struggle with this thought on a daily basis. Not just for our own lives, but for that of our family.

If our soldier hadn't traded patrols so he could call home would he still be alive? If I hadn't insisted he re-enlist would we have a better life? Would the outcome still be the same? If he hadn't taken that one assignment would the entire universe be re-routed? If he had a different job would I still be alone?

In general my thought is a combination of the two... freewill and fate.

I believe the big things in life are mapped out for us. Marriage, children, death etc.
But I believe how we get there is up to us.

For example:

Death is inevitable. The moment we are born is the moment we begin to die. Knowing this gives us 2 options. We can get up every morning, cry, stomp our feet and pout because we know that one day everything will be gone.
or
We can make the most of our time. Learn whatever it is we were put here to learn. Love whoever it is we were put here to love, and live however we were put here to live. But the point is you have a choice to live courageously or to die cowardly.

A person doesn't always realize the impact they have on another. Sometimes a simple smile is enough to change the way another views their own life. But that same frown can destroy another. Or does it? Did they make that choice to be happy or did we make them happy? By "making" that person smile did we alter the path of the world?
If that's true, then what did we do by making them cry?

I find irony in the fact, that every day, we wake up and make choices that ultimately we have no choice in making.

Living this life you constantly feel like you have lost all sense of control. But the reality is, maybe we never had it to begin with?

Maybe once we accept we have no control, we can enjoy the world put before us.

I Hate You Deployment Gnome

I don't think he even qualifies as a Gnome at this point. I'm more inclined to call him the kleptomaniac spawn of Satan.

My morning starts off at approximately 3:45 am. Why? I have no idea. For some odd reason, this seemed like a good time to start my day. I toss and turn for 2 1/2 hours, I finally doze off! Just in time for my alarm. So I give up.
I then rise and decide to make my kids a special breakfast. We had bacon, eggs, and biscuits (from a can, I'm not "that" thrilled to be up). I think I'll be nice and let the kids sleep for a bit longer while I put on the finishing touches. I get their toothbrushes ready, clothes out, gloves, coats the works. I then like a big dummy think my kids will be refreshed, thankful and ready to start the day.
THEY WEREN'T.

My oldest gets dressed only to realize she had a massive growth spurt in the last few days and can't get her pants above her knees. My youngest, gets up only to tell me that she was still mad at me from the day before. When I had the audacity to get her haircut for the first time. (which is a whole other blog in itself, I'll just say the ladies at SmartStyle will be scarred for life). The real challenge came from "the boy".

My only son obviously, holds a special place in my heart. Being the only boy and the middle child I will occasionally find myself feeling bad for him. Today was not one of those occasions. For some reason, it took us 35 minutes to put on our pants. We then finally make it down stairs for what I think will be breakfast. How dare I make him biscuits and bacon! I am the worst mommy ever because he wanted Lucky Charms. How could I not know this?

Not to worry because by this time, the electricity is off. And on, and off and on and off and on. I thought I was going to have a seizure from all the activity. With the electricity issues, Dora, Yo Gabba Gabba or whatever tv related nightmare the youngest needed at that time just wasn't happening. So then came the next tantrum.
But it gets much much better.

So my son, shoves 3 pieces of bacon in his mouth and decides he wants to play hide and go seek instead of getting ready for school. At this point we have approximately 5 minutes before the bus arrives. Only to realize, he's lost his socks, his shoes and his coat. I finally get him dressed after only 45 minutes. We get bundled up tightly and run to make the bus. The youngest thinks her time is better spent looking at the sky, her toes or anything other than walking to the bus. My son at this point is beyond obstinate but clammed up and my oldest just wants to make sure everybody knows Mommy's bad mood wasn't her fault. So after I've yelled, begged and bargained to get them to the bus stop on time. The bus is late! So we stand there, and stand there, and stand some more. (did I mention it was COLD, and I am a big sissy). So finally the bus comes. I think we're home free. We get to the house, the electricty was on, my youngest could get her tv fix, and I could get in the shower.

I then get in the shower, and the damn gnome cuts the electricity off again. During one shower the lights went out 3 times. Finally get out, get dressed teeth brushed. Get the youngest ready for ballet. Only to discover that the freaking gnome hid all her ballet attire except for one leotard. Which of course doesn't seem like an issue, until you try to get it on her. Apparently she too has had a growth spurt.
After 10 minutes, a lot of stretching, and crying (from me not her) its on. Its cold out, so I make her wear pants over her leotard. OMG, how could I? Such a bad mommy. "I wanna be cold", "leave me alone" and my favorite "don't you ever take me to get my hair cut again" (what this had to do with getting dressed I have no idea)was repeated constantly. So we go to fix her Ballerina Bun. But my little gnome friend refuses to relinquish the electricity. So my little princess ballerina goes to class looking like she has a mullet. But that is only apparent if you aren't looking at the big blue toothpaste smear all over her chin. So finally we get there, life is looking up and all is good. Oh, wait...there's a new Ballet teacher. Which on any other day wouldn't phase us, but today was not any other day. For the first time ever, I had to carry my child into the studio and force her to stay. Trust me she did. She stayed in one spot for over 40 minutes and glared at the door like she was trying to make it burst into flames. Kids danced around her, she remained steady. I have to give her credit for conviction at least.

So we get back home. Yeah..the little bastard finally gave me back my electricity. However, the constant off and on spazzed out my computer. Which if it was any other day may not have been such a big deal. But...it wasn't any other day. I work from home. With my computer down, I cannot work from home. So I miss a days work, I'm sure I'll hear about that one tomorrow (can't wait!)and the new phone book does not list the phone number to my internet provider. So I go knocking on my neighbors door, thank God she's got the number. Give them a call and again all is right! Oh wait, no its not. They are working on the sewage lines. So out of nowhere I hear gurgle, gurgle, gurgle BOOM. Not to worry its just my toilet trying to explode.
At this point I'm ready to have myself committed. But I soldier on.

In preparation for tonights dinner, I made a delicious pork roast. Cooked and seasoned and placed in the fridge to await this evenings dinner. I go to make dinner, and the roast is MISSING. By missing, I don't mean shoved to the back of the refrigerator, I mean missing. As in not there. No trace that there has ever been a roast in my home at anytime. If I didn't know better I'd swear the damn gnome hired Dexter to clean the crime scene after he took my roast. Four hours later, my roast is yet to be seen. We searched refrigerator, cabinets, even the bathrooms and still no roast. I had witnesses to the reality of the roast or I would have already checked myself into the nearest institution.

I swear that if I ever get my hands on the Deployment Gnome, I will make dwarf tossing* an Olympic sport.

*legal disclaimer-author of this blog does not advocate the tossing of dwarves, nor do I intend on ever catapulting a dwarf, little person or roast stealing #@$%!&
in any way. I do not harbor any grudges towards the common lawn gnome, midget, munchkin or little person. I do not believe any of the above named entities deserve in any way to be tossed.
Don't ask why I feel the need to make this obvious disclaimer, that is for another blog entirely.

So Tired

This life is exhausting. I knew what I was signing up for, but sometimes the reality can be overbearing.

Specifically during a time of war, your focus is primarily on getting your soldier home safely and what you would do if God forbid anything were to happen to them. How your life would go on? How could you look your children in the eye and tell them their father was gone? How could you continue to love a country that you sacrificed everything for and got nothing but heartache in return? I would like to believe that God has a plan, the end justifies the means, and the honor one would feel from knowing your soldier gave everything for your safety would be enough. But I can't.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying anything derogatory about my country, the military or the war. I'm just saying that I'm tired. I'm tired of not knowing when the next phone call will be. I'm tired of consoling my children when somebody says something stupid about the war, and I'm tired of being surrounded in pain.

In the last 10 years, I've seen more death than most people see in a lifetime. It's getting harder and harder to justify the life that takes so much from you.

I'm tired of feeling guilty because I'm thankful it wasn't my soldier...this time.

There are times, I can't look at other wives, knowing the amount of pain they are feeling, whether its the death of their soldier, the seperation of deployment, or the illness they are suffering alone, and feeling relieved that its not me...this time.

How screwed up of a life does one have, when the thing they are most thankful for is that it's somebody else thats suffering? Or that you feel guilty for feeling that way?

I know that at anytime, I could get that knock on the door and my life would be changed forever.

Being a soldier is tough, but try being a soldier's wife.

The Last Supper

Tomorrow will be one of the many Thanksgivings we spend without our soldier. It almost seems like a holiday tradition at this point to tell them Happy Thanksgiving via webcam. Sure the kids and I will usually make a large meal with turkey and all the trimmings. I'm not sure why, since 2 of my 3 kids refuse to eat meat and my oldest continues to ask random question about why you put chopped up bread in a dead birds butt. Good Times.

The reason we celebrate Thanksgiving depends upon whom you ask. Some say it was to celebrate a bountiful harvest, some say it was to celebrate with the indians for helping them to survive during a harsh winter, for some it's just a way to give thanks for all blessings received.

Although, I love the idea of a holiday that the success or failure depends upon your ability to eat as much as you can, I do find the idea of Thanksgiving a little ironic. One would expect that a bountiful harvest, a large feast with family and friends is the beginning of a wonderful story. But, thats not necessarily the truth.

Throughout history, all great tragedies begin with a feast.

There is of course, the Last Supper. I'm pretty sure that didn't turn out too well for Jesus.
The Ides of March, Ceaser didn't fair too well on this one, but he inspired an awesome salad.
Then we have Thanksgiving of course, were we celebrated and feasted with our Native American friends for 3 days. Then gave them blankets laced with smallpox, took their land and forced them into slavery. But hey, atleast there's no hard feelings??? lol

Then of course, we have the "family gathering". Thanksgiving is a popular holiday for the dysfunctional family feud. Maybe its the close quarters without Christmas cheer, something in the turkey, or the excitement of pumpkin pie but, Thanksgiving is the day we gather, and say thank you because we don't have to see our relatives until Christmas. (not my family of course, because we are perfect and I love them bunches, lol)

Drive Thru-Pharmacy?

I decided I was going to get the jump on the pharmacy crowd and get there shortly after opening. I was so excited, today was not going to be a 3 hour wait!
I get my number, there's only 11 people ahead of me, and 5 windows open. Woohoo!!

No logically, this led me to believe my visit to the pharmacy would be a quick one.
Apparently, the pharmacy, is where logic goes to die.

It took me approximately 57 minutes to get my prescription from start to finish. In that amount of time, I was able to use my imagination a bit, to wonder what life is like for some of the other pharmacy "contestants". (I say contestants because when your number is called, you feel like you've just won the lottery and have to fight the urge to yell "I won, I won")

I'm looking around, and I'm thinking......some of these people REALLY need their medications so please hurry! There were several I could imagine them driving their car through the front door, creating a desperately needed drive-thru. I'm thinking they probably aren't the best choice to keep waiting.

There were the older population, the ones who looked like their ticket would be punched before their number was called. The one with the oxygen mask grabbing his chest looked promising.

The ones talking to themselves are always fun. I'm starting to believe their imaginary friends just don't like me much. Snobs!

My favorite are the sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever, sore throat, God please give my my medicine so I can rest crowd. Although I feel deeply for these contestants, and I hate that anyone feels that way....I want to spray them with Lysol as they walk through the door. (relax, I wouldn't actually do it!)

I understand that is a place that sick people go to get medicine and blah, blah, blah. But stay away from me. I have enough issues without the flu, whooping cough, monkey pox, Ebola virus, or what ever viral atrocity they're toting around.

So I guess, until somebody goes off the deep end and creates the drive-thru, I will visit the pharmacy with a smile on my face. Because I know that the more time I spend there, and they get to truly know me, all those imaginary people will want to be my friend.

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

Probably the worse thing about being an Army wife during a deployment, is illness.
Being sick, while having small children is hard for anyone. Then take away the only other person, who can assist in your recovery. It has a tendency to magnify the problem.

I don't remember the last time, I got to sleep in when fighting the flu. Had someone bring me ice for that newly broken foot (yeah that happens a lot, lol), or even brought me something to dull the pain of that newly formed migraine.

I've been relatively ill for about the past month now. Between medications, pain, and down right discomfort I spend more time vomiting than I do resting. I would give anything to have one morning where I didn't have to go through it alone.

I understand, duty to country. I understand that its his job that allows me to have the healthcare to have my medical issues treated, and I understand that if he could be here he would. But sometimes, that isn't much to hold onto.

In general, I believe the saying "and this too shall pass". But when you are in such severe pain you can't function, you can't take pain medication because you have 3 small children who depend on you to be coherant, and the only relief you can get is through prayer, philosophy is the last thing on your mind.

I'm lucky enough, that my family is less than a days drive so if worse comes to worse I know I can depend on them to help. I know that I can call my mother at any time and she will be at more door within a day. But some of us, don't have that luxury.

Some Army wives are across the world from their loved ones. Whether they are an American stationed in Germany, or a Korean who married an American soldier, they are alone. They face illness, tragedy and pain without the support of anyone, on a daily basis.

I met a Hungarian woman, the other day. She has been dealing with medical issues of her own, her American soldier spouse is in Afghanistan as well. I just couldn't help but feel the pain she must feel. Being all alone across the world, and ill.
I can't imagine being alone in a new country, sick, not knowing anyone and trying to cope with this lifestyle.

I just wish I could go through one day without thinking I am sick and tired, of being sick and tired. It would be nice, if for once I had somebody to fall into, when it got to be too much. I would love for somebody to tell me that its all going to be ok, make a nearly bi-weekly trip to the pharmacy for me, or even drive me to one of my 4-5 doctor appoints each month.

I guess such is the life of an Army wife, we play the hands we're dealt.

I Miss GW

Now somebody's gonna open this up just because they think I've lost my mind and they feel the need to see how stupid I truly am, I can save you the trouble....I miss GW.

Let me explain....

I'm not saying I have a problem with Obama. I'm just saying when he addresses the nation I get about as excited as a narcoleptic with a sleeping pill. I think I may have gotten more than a little spoiled with our previous Presidents.

Lets starts with GW Bush:
You just never knew what was going to come out of his mouth. Sometimes I tuned in just out of sheer curiosity. I thought maybe, just maybe today will be the day he walks up to the podium, wearing one of those cowboy suits all little boys had in the 70s. The one with the blue vest and the red fringe. Saying something stupid, like "I'm rubber and your glue, what ever you say is gonna get you sticky, cause glue's sticky". Then he was going to declare war on Mexico, because the price of Tequila is outragous.

Then lets go to Bill Clinton:
I just knew if I watched long enough, I'd see a couple of pole dancers in the background, a Federal mandate making McDonalds establish a delivery service or even a lap dance by Helen Thomas. I thought maybe, Hilary would be pushed to the breaking point and kung fu his ass during the Presidential address. But still I was let down.

George H Bush:
His speeches did have a certain flair.
NO NEW TAXES, "Making the US a Kinder, Gentler nation", and Trickle Down. Hmm..I guess its hereditary?
I do in all honesty however, believe Barbara Bush was one of the most influential First Ladies we've ever had. Second only to Eleanor Roosevelt.

Ronald Reagan:
I was only 5 when he took office so I don't remember much about this one unfortunately. I know when he addressed the nation however, the world seemed to stop. He had a commanding presence if anything else. Yet he had that gentleness about him that made everybody feel at ease. I, of course remember, the Berlin Wall, end of the Cold war and all of the major accomplishments during his presidency.

Like I said, I'm not knocking Obama. I just think the most exciting thing he's ever said was that he looked like he was "bowling for the Special Olympics". Maybe if he'd say something like "mission accomplished, while allowing Dr's to practice their love of women", I'd be a little more receptive. I mean really, declaring 57 states will only get you by for so long Obama.

New Al Qaeda Operative: The Deployment Gnome

I've long thought there was something sinister behind the workings of the Deployment Gnome. Most just consider him a mischief maker or a nuisance. I think it is deeper than that.

For those who don't know of the Deployment Gnome, he's pure evil. A seemingly innocent gnome, who sneaks into the homes of the wives of deployed soldiers and wreaks havoc. Hides car keys, flushes cell phones, and corrupts children.

After a long thought process, I have arrived at the only logical conclusion regarding the Deployment Gnome. He's a terrorist. He systematically travels from post to post during deployments. The amount of travel involved makes me think he is just a small part of a sleeper cell of Deployment Gnomes.

The strategy: Psychological Warfare

The Gnome, works diligently to ensure the insanity levels of the wives left behind. He corrupts our children, pushes our buttons and continues to be a nuisance the entire deployment. I can just see the tele-conferences held between him and his cousins the Roaming Gnome and Garden Gnome.

He has let the air out of tires, told the kids broccoli is bad for them, and flushed my cell phone twice. Sent my son door to door to collect "cheese" (don't ask), told my youngest her name is "your majesty" and my oldest that it must be ok if her friends do it. He has previously hidden my Wii remote, only to have it turn up months later on top of the Wii! He pushed my satellite dish over, and made my kitchen lights go off.......wait for maintenace to show, then he turns them back on! He has made one toilet leak, from the bottom only to seal it before maintenance arrives.
I'm pretty sure he is trying to get the maintenance man to have me committed.
He has flooded my toilets 3 times then hidden my plungers.

So with that, he must be an Al Quaeda Operative. Damn you Bin Laden, Damn you.
The war on terror must be taken up a notch. I will get you, you little gnome.

Your Momma Wears Combat Boots!

I remember when the phrase "your momma wears Combat Boots" was an insult. The number of women in the military was minimal to say the least. It was rare that a female would join the military for any reason than nursing or secretarial duties.

Within the last few decades that number has risen to an approximate 75,000 females as of September 2009, serving in Active Duty in the United States Army. That number may seem large, but they still only make up an estimated 14% of Active Duty Soldiers. Although, some jobs are still closed for females in the military, our choices are larger than that of yesteryear.
Women are proving themselves to be worthy on a daily basis, by taking on tasks normally thought for men only. All women have to potential to break barriers, and play on the same field as a man.

Do I think women are cut for combat?...Absolutely. For several reasons.
1. I am a firm believer in Equal Opportunity, means Equal Responsibility.
If a female wants the same opportunities as a man, she must carry the same burden.
I believe this is true in all aspects of the Army. I am completely against seperate PT and standards for the sex of the soldier.

2. We are called, irrational, illogical, and even weak. However, you put our children/families in harms way, and all of these stereotypes are proven false. Women have sacrificed more than any man in the name of child preservation. Women have and will do the unthinkable to save loved ones, carry on a way of life, and defend their home.

3. I've frequently (jokingly) said, if women and gays were on the front lines, we would have blown it up, rebuilt and redecorated the Middle East by now. If you want a job talked about, ask a man. You want it done...ask a woman.

Now with that being said, I will say Kudo's for any woman who has managed to fulfill a successful military career and a family. I don't know how any woman can have a child and be away for months to more than a year at a time. It takes a much stronger, dedicated woman than myself to accomplish this task. Now I'm not saying the fathers do not sacrifice being away from their children, and I mean no disrespect to those who leave their children for deployments, tdy or field time.
I won't get into my thoughts on parent/child bonding or one being stronger than the other. I am just observing from the point of a mother.

Wearing combat boots, is no longer an insult. But an honor that is bestowed upon the best and strongest of women. A woman can never have too many shoes.~

Girls Night Out

Once in a while, we as Army wives will say "enough is enough, I need out of this house and chaos", so we call up a few others and come up with our grand scheme for some Mommy time. Oddly enough, we typically have our children in tow.

We don't get to frequent regular adult female hangouts, everywhere we go must have french fries, crayons or paper cups. Usually a combination of the three. But not tonight! Tonight we were gonna think outside the box. So we loaded the kids up, and headed to the bowling alley! About the 5th frame I realized I was getting slaughtered by my 5 year old, who oddly enough had the highest score out of 11 players. (not that it was a blow to my ego or anything, lol)

As we neared the middle of the 8th frame, the computer stopped, the pins stopped being cleared and we seemed to be stopped in time. After, about 10 minutes the employees decided to impart their wisdom upon the situation. Apparently, they decided one of us didn't pay for the game so they needed to see all our receipts. Because obviously, we Army wives along with our massive trail of never ending children look like we were just out to steal a game of bowling. So we take all our receipts, stand in line AGAIN and are told to wait while they looked through the receipts and compared ours to theres to ensure they weren't 3 dollars short.
By this time, I would have paid an extra $3 and a kidney just to end this conversation.

Finally after about 30 minutes we get the go ahead to finish the last 2 frames of our game. Woohoo. Now that we've got 6 kids, ranging from 10 months to 7years who just wanted to play, climbing off seats, counters and ball returns. We can get back to "relaxing" with our friends. As we head into our 9th frame, the evening gets a little more exciting, the alley turns to Cosmic Bowling. The lights go off, the disco lights and black lights start and the party begins!

The kids could no longer care about getting a ball down a lane, because chasing blinkin lights around the bowling alley seemed to be much more exciting. Kids sliding along the floors trying to see how many lights they can catch, how well they can dance, and letting the rhythm get them.

As stressful as the evening was for the adults, I guess it was all worth it to hear "this was the best nigt of my life" from my children.

All in all, I had a good night. I got to eat terrible bowling alley food, throw balls at inanimate objects, wear ugly shoes and dance under a black light in a bowling alley. But the best part was spending the night with good friends. Who accept this evening as a normal Army style "girls night out".

The only thing I would have done differently.....stolen a pair of those ugly shoes to bronze for a mantle piece, like a trophy to prove I lived through the night.

East Side Vs. West Side

Throughout history there are stories of feuding families and groups. The Hatfield's and McCoy's, the Capulet's and the Montague's, Oprah and Letterman. But none will equal the destruction of the feuding Army wives.

Moving to a new post, is a lot like changing highschools. The first real friend you make will determine your status and future friendships at that post. We as wives will undeniably break off into cliques. We all want to say we left this behavior in highschool, but.....we'd be lying.

Living the military life, is a lot like a suburbian gang war. East Side vs. West side if you will. Then of course, you always have your groups of "neutrals", which really only means they don't quarrel, they just it back and gossip about it.
Army wives gangs represent the Original Red, White and Blue gang colors.

Once you befriend a "member" of a particular gang, you will inevitably be introduced to the rest of the group. By invitation of course. This may be a casual dinner, outing or something that would let the rest of the gang get a good read on your social abilities. The rest of the gang, will size you up, guage your reaction to certain stimuli and go from there. You will then either be welcomed, or let loose.

However, once you are welcomed into the gang, you are basically guaranteed the protection of the gang. Say for instance, someone from an opposing gang steals your famous brownie recipe, your gang is entitled, nay expected to dose their brownies with X-lax. If your childs toy is broken by a child of the opposing gang, we will send a message to that childs mother by leaving a my little pony head in her bed.
But if a member of the gang, decides to turn its back upon said gang, branch off, or simply defect....the outcome may not be as friendly. Traitors are not treated well.
I'm not saying they will sleep with the fishes, or even be fitted for a pair of concrete combat boots, but they may find themselves in an embarrassing situation involving toilet paper, gorilla glue and the youtube.

So the next time you see a group of Army wives, rolling up in the Grand Caravan, or texting gang signs, you may wanna think twice about crossing them. We are a different kind of crazy. We're Army crazy.

Insanity Optional

Women in general, have an unrealistic idea of Military life. I blame most of these delusions on television and movies. I'll never forget the scene in an Officer and a Gentleman, when he comes in and sweeps her off her feet in perfect uniform.
When you see a movie or tv show, its rare that you don't see the "formal" gathering.
The tea parties or the FRG get togethers. Everyone always seems so happy and dedicated to the cause of supporting their man in uniform. You are never shown the darker sides of military life.

The sides where we sit at home for days on end with no social interaction. The days where even if something were to happen we don't know who to turn to. The days that get to be too much for some women to handle, and commit the unthinkable.
The rocking kids to sleep because they had a nightmare that a "bad" guy had daddy.
The days that everything you can imagine falling apart, does.

So you can pretty much tell which wife is cut out for Army life within the first 6 months. It has become almost an artform. I'm not saying its something that cannot be learned or adjusted, but you can tell by the way one acts to any amount of alone time, social interactions and crisis in general.

If you are the type of woman, who doesn't need a mans constant attention, you'll be fine. If you are the type of girl who marrys a soldier thinking Army Wives is real, you are pretty much screwed. If you believe that Army wives are perfect in any way, shape or form....well I'm gonna leave that statement alone! lol

There is a reason, depression rates amongst Military wives are so high. Oddly enough, its not typically the depression that will put us over the edge. Its the inability to accept that depression is a problem and the ability to deal with such a thing. Now I'm not saying that all Army wives need to get up in the morning and down a handfull of anti-depressants. I'm just saying we need to accept our lot in life, and learn how to handle it. If you are the type of person who gets easily offended, upset and don't have a firm grasp on your sense of self, you will never survive this life. However, the ones who can accept they are who they are, and be ok with that will be just fine. We put too much pressure on ourselves rather its to prove the media right, or to defy a stereotype. We are who we are, and if thats not enough for someone else, then maybe they should adjust who they are.

I tell new or expecting Army wives the same thing I tell my children. Don't try to fit in, make other people fit you.
You don't have to be crazy to be an Army wife, but it sure helps!

Army Wife Boot Camp "refresher" course

I've previously stated that a lot of problems surrounding Army wives could be avoided by a simple Army Wife Boot Camp. I'm sticking by that statement.

However, it has come to my attention that refresher courses may be needed.
Now, my initial idea is something like the Army Reserves or National Guard.
One weekend a month and two weeks a year, we are "reminded" of what it means to be an Army wife.
The problem with this, is of course time consumption, many of us have children and really can't dedicate this amount of time.
My next idea is a simple TDY program. We are randomly picked yearly to go to various schools or temporary locations for further training. We could attend classes such as, how to co-exist amongst close quarters, Army Regulations, and the actual basics of your spouses job. It is amazing to see how many wives, still have no idea what their husbands job entails after 10 years.

Although the Army in general has its own set of rules, one will find that at each Military installation there are vast differences in the set of enforced rules. What is legal on this post maybe completely taboo on the next. I believe when moving to a new post, before you can live on that post a FAMILY briefing shall be held. Complete with all Army regulations involving housing and subdivisions.

Maybe a "field time" is warranted instead. All of the wives spend a few nights in the field, for training exercises. Just as their soldiers would. Maybe a few of those fun filled nights would make them appreciate the life they have, that their soldiers make possible. If people can't live peacefully among a quiet neighborhood, how can they make it in nature? The way a person lives within a community says a lot about the way they live their life.

Maybe if we had training on how to deal within our own environment life would be a bit more organized.

Ranking Segregation?

Back in the day, it was the norm for Commissioned Officers Spouses and Enlisted Spouses to avoid fraternization. It was looked upon as taboo to say the least for any spouse of the Non-Commissioned to co-exist with those in the ranks of the Commissioned.

I can remember in the beginning for me going to my first spouse social and people gasping for air as I spoke to the Colonel's wife. I remember being pulled aside by some of the enlisted wives and getting the "lecture". That was just something they couldn't believe I would do. Being new to the Army I thought, I had just made the largest sin ever made. I was horribly upset with myself. How could I have befriended someone so "above" me? She was a very pleasant woman, who would call and invite me to do random things, shopping excursions, dinner and such and I just remember making up various excuses. Not because I didn't like her in the least, but because I was scared. Not just for the "rumors" about fraternizing, but I had it in my head it would hurt her to be seen with me, the lowly enlisted wife.
It took me a while to get over that fear. Maybe it was age, time, or just my extroverted personality saying enough is enough, but eventually you come to terms with the fact they are just people.

All that wife wanted to do was be my friend, she got lonely like the rest of us. She needed to talk, vent, relax and let herself step down from the pedestal that others seem to insist she stand upon.

We as wives DO NOT WEAR A RANK. It is perfectly acceptable for wives of all backgrounds to depend upon each other. Especially in this time of war. For the most part, I will say we as wives have come a long way in this aspect. Some of my best friends have ranked from PFC wives to wives of Post Commanders. I will say we are all in the same boat. When I see a wife, I try really hard not to determine the rank of the soldier. I don't want that to become a factor in how we see each other.

With all of that said, it saddens me to see that this type of segregation still exists amongst the ranks of the military spouse. The best way I have heard it described is the "Green to Gold" issue. (now for soldiers this term means something completely different!) Amongst wives it is a way of saying the Enlisted (green) spouses will be treated as less by the Commissioned (gold).

Maybe its a persons perception as to if this is true or not. Like I said in my case, it was my own fears creating this issue. But I will say its not always the case.
I refuse to generalize about a group of women because of the rank their husband wears! However I will say even in this day and age there are women who insist upon wearing their husbands rank and I have seen them pull stunts that even the President wouldn't attempt.

So all that I am asking, is treat the wives you meet as people not rank. I've never been through boot camp, along with the majority of others. I don't deserve to be looked down upon for one rank, nor put on a pedestal for another. I'm not a soldier, if I wanted to be judged for the accessories on my uniform, I would have joined the Army.

The rank on a soldiers uniform, doesn't automatically grant the spouse entrance to the Pearly Gates, nor does it determine the level of hell you will achieve.

Army Wife Soundtrack

There have been so many songs dedicated to the American Soldier, particularly during the last 10 years. Its nothing to turn on the radio and hear a patriotic tune reminding us of the sacrifice a man or woman in the military will make. I will be the first to say, it is well deserved.

However, its rare that you hear a song detailing the plight of the military wife.
My favorite song is "They Also Serve" by John Conlee.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xn06ruxh2pA
Granted there are others but this one is the one that has always stood out for me.

Now I'm not saying that we deserve a full dedication of Military family based music, but I'm thinking a simple soundtrack would be nice.

For example, when I walk into a room instead of playing "Hail to the Chief", I'd like to hear the theme song to Apocalypse Now, or atleast the theme to Star Wars.
After the National Anthem, maybe a Meridith Brooks tribute.
When the FRG Meetings are to begin, I'd like a little Twisted Sister "We're not gonna take it".
For our massive amounts of post deployment births (and yes there will be plenty) I want to hear a little Springstein "Born In The USA".

But when the soldiers re-deploy and they will almost inevitably play "Proud to be an American", I would prefer to hear "The boys are back in town" followed by
Britney Spears "Toy Soldier".

Now one may take this as me being "anti-patriotic" in regards to my music choices. This is simply not the case. I fully believe the men and women that are willing to wear those uniforms so the rest of us don't have to, deserve every tribute they get and more. I'm just ready to shake things up a bit.

I am proud to be an American, but can't I be proud while doing the electric slide?

Flexibility

Being an Army wife means you have to be flexible in many, many ways. Depending upon your position within the Army your levels of flexibility must vary on any given occasion.

The biggest thing when dealing with Army wives is simply that you are dealing with wives. Now I'm not knocking Army wives, or women in general, just making a simple observation. Women can be the most deceitful, manipulative, back stabbing group of people. This is one area I will say we will always topple a man. At any given time a female, can look another female in the eyes and sing her praises then run to the next female and tell the world how horrible she is. Now knowing this about women, lets add in another factor....the military.

So now we not only have a clique of grown women who have nothing better to do than gossip and cause trouble, but we take their husbands away for long periods of time.
Say what you'd like about men, but atleast when they are home the women are less likely to run amuck. I don't know if its boredom, the need to see other women suffer, or the feeling like they are getting away with something, but its ridiculous.

Women like this are the reason we Army wives are stereotyped the way we are. Even though they may make up only a small amount, they manage to make the rest of us look bad. Like I've previously stated, I've been doing this for many years now so my flexibility is decreasing to say the least.

So I dedicate tonights blog to all those Army wives who stand their ground and don't fall into the stereotype we have cast upon us. To the wives who carry the torch of the stereotype, I will only say..... my flexibility is nearly gone so since I can't reach it would you please kiss my ass for me!

Comments?

Just a heads up people. I know you won't always agree with everything I say, just as I would not with you. Thats fine. As adults, and Army Wives I would hope we can all be mature enough to handle our differences in that manner. Its obvious that may not be true.

So I will tell you how your comments process work. You submit comments stating you agree, disagree or just want to make a random comment. You can use your user name or make the post anonymous. Simple right?
Apparently not.

Posting anonymous doesn't mean I don't know who you are, where you are located or the link in which you clicked to reach me. If you are sending me hateful or threatening comments, all I have to do is check time of your post. Then I go to my stats and it pops up not only the link your clicked but the country you are in, and your IP address.

Now the link you click tells me a lot. Most of my links are posted on my friends facebook pages, that is where I get 90% of my traffic. When you click on their link to leave me hateful messages it comes back to them. If we have mutual friends I doubt they appreciate you using their facebook page to harass me.

If you don't like what I have to say, easy fix....Don't read it! Please don't involve other people in your dislike of me. I'm here, if you feel like you need personally validated, don't send anonymous hateful posts!

False Sense Of Security

Living on an Army post it is easy to fall into a false sense of security.
People automatically believe, that because you must show an ID to get onto base that we are protected from the outside world. Anyone who has lived on an Army post for any length of time, knows this is simply not true.

I live on a "closed" post. All that really means is that if you do not have a military ID, you must get a pass. Then you can pretty much come and go as you please.
Well, I'm sorry to say, getting a pass doesn't mean you have an extensive background check, go through a metal detector or even pass a "are you planning on killing anyone" questionairre. All it means is you show your drivers license, registration and insurance, end of story.

Military posts have crimes like any civilian community. Sometimes its from post visitors, sometimes its from post residents, or even civilians who work on the post.
We have vendors who come on post multiple times a day, they don't have background checks. People who live on post (aside from soldiers) don't have background checks, people who come to see any post event again still don't have background checks.

At any time, you can be living next door to a sex offender, standing in line at the PX by the next Jeffery Dahmer, or talking to the stranger at the park looking for their next victim. We don't have the security people seem to believe we do.
Anywhere there are people, there is a possibility of violence.

So it amazes me, when you hear people say things like, "oh its ok we live on post", or send their small children out to play up and down the street unsupervised. Since I have lived on this post for exactly 1 year. In that time, there have been 3 attempted kidnappings that I am aware. Luckily, all of those 3 children were unharmed. However, the stories don't stop there. I've heard rumors of men, sneaking young girls off post for sexual escapades and sneaking them back on. People houses are repeatedly robbed in broad daylight. Barely a week ago, my neighbor and I called the police mid-day because of kids snooping around another neighbors home. This was only 1:30pm on a school day. The MP stated, he had already had 5 Breaking and Entering calls for the day. I could be wrong, but that number seems a little high for lunchtime.

Yes, we live on post and if it were a Utopian society we could let our children run around, leave our doors unlocked and show off our stereo sytems. But we don't.
I may be a little over protective or hyper vigilant. I won't even allow my children to typically go to the Ice Cream Truck. However, I would rather be a pain in the butt to my children and deny them over priced frozen treats, then have to make a plea to kidnappers to return my child. (no I'm not saying I think Ice Cream Truck drivers are bad people! I just think a middle aged man attracting chidren to his van with icecream seems a little odd)

Living on post, doesn't mean we are afforded the luxury of being unsafe.

What Would I Have Done Without You?

I've never been a "girlfriend" type of person. Don't get me wrong,I've had female friends over the years, but I never felt settled. I've always been the girl who felt more comfortable with the guys, in my old sweatshirt, doing guy things.
But joining Army life, you really have no choice at times but to re-evaluate who you are. Its hard to justify, being married with children and having only male friends.
People don't understand, so you try to please the masses. I will tell you its been a hard, hard road at times.

But I will say that after 15 years of military life, I've finally adjusted. Its taken lots of deployments, TDY's and field time, but maybe I've finally found people that I can relate. I've spent so much time alone, I never knew it could be any easier. I'd gotten used to being alone, depending on myself, griping only to GOD when absolutely necessary, that I had forgotten to see the others around me.
Its easy to see what you don't have, but sometimes you need to see what you do.

I can't tell you the number of women, that have been base to base with me that I've never really talked to until this deployment. One in particular, has followed us through 4 duty stations, and I never noticed. Another, that has become an extremely close friend, has been through the last 2 with me.

Its funny, my biggest fear was never really not having close friends, but not being able to be a close friend.
I've watched these women, lose loved ones, grieve for their husbands, and panic when the phone doesn't ring. I've listened to poured hearts, scared mothers and stress riddled wives. Even for me, this deployment has been rough. We've had scares and traumas that would normally push a woman to the brink, but I've made it. But it wasn't because I was stronger, better or harder than the others. It was because I had friends that listened. Other Army Wives.

I'll never forget, the day the husband of one of my close friends was injured. By injured, I mean nobody knew what lied ahead. There were hours of waiting with her by the phone. She looked at me and said, "I just don't know what I would have done without you". At the time, that statement just seemed odd to me. I hadn't done anything that I was aware. But I just said the typical, "its alright" response and went on.

Well this last few months, it finally dawned on me what she meant. Sometimes just having a person who feels your pain or who can just sit there and listen is the only thing you need. I've always been the "go to" girl when shit hits the fan. I've never felt like I had any one who understood when I needed someone.

Its taken me 15 years, but I finally feel like I am apart of something. I have women I can count on, and I don't have to be the never waivering wife this time. Maybe its ok to let your guard down once in a while.

So for the first time in my Army life, I can say "its not what you would have done without me, but what would I have done without you?"

Mommy, I Miss Daddy

Luckily for me, my children are still young enough to not feel the "full effects" of a deployment.
My oldest of course, takes it the hardest when he leaves.
My middle child (and only boy)doesn't really have any issues for a couple of months typically.
But then, there's the baby. My 3 year old, who has convinced herself she is without a doubt a princess, and now requests to be called "your Majesty".

Now "the princess" lives in her own little world. I'm convinced that she will be that child in little league playing with her toes or chasing butterflies in right field. When Daddy first deployed it took her nearly 4 months to realize he was gone. I'm not saying she didn't love her Daddy in the least. Just that she is oblivious to her surroundings.
She came to me one afternoon, and said "mommy, is daddy still at work?" like he was working late. So after, my attempt to set her straight, she made up her own story to tell everyone she met. "Daddy's shooting Leprechauns in Assganstan".
We just left that story alone. So when Daddy came home on R&R, you can imagine the questions she had.

So 2 weeks go by, and "the princess", has Daddy's nearly full undivided attention. Which really doesn't help curb her delusions of grandeur. It didn't take her long to figure out who was the soft touch within the parental unit.

When Daddy left, I knew we'd have small issues of course, thats to be expected. But after nearly 3 weeks, I still hear "mommy I miss daddy" several times a day. We keep distracted as much as possible, but we still have down time. She's become quite adept at playing the "my daddys gone" card.
Why did you write on the floor? "I miss Daddy"
Did you hit your brother? "I miss Daddy"
Its time for bed. "I miss Daddy"

It never fails, bedtime is when Daddy is missed most. Can I stay up and watch TV? No. Call daddy! Your daddy won't let you stay up either. Uh huh, daddy let me do what I want! Well sorry Cupcake, Daddy's not here, momma rules. Uhhhh, I'm going to bed. But I miss daddy!

Your Exits Are Here, Here, Here and Here

We went of vacation a few weeks ago, and I was thinking how much easier it would have been to fly instead of that 15 hour drive with 3 small children. But then a sense of panic started to set in.

The last time I flew, was 3 days before the 9/11 attack. I haven't been on a plane since. Not "necessarily" due to fright, but I haven't really had anywhere to go.

Now the logical part of me, says "screw it". I know that logically speaking, I cannot and will not be bullied or frightened from the most normal of tasks. I know the odds of a terrorist hijacking the exact plane I am on are probably less than being attacked by a rabid octopus, but none the less.

Being an Army wife I've always been told, don't take your military ID on the plane with you. The terrorist will search you and kill you first!!! Don't let them know you are military, its leverage! Hmm...well there are a few problems with this train of thought. Although, it does make a bit of sense, (if you think the terrorist would let you live anyway), but if they are gonna fly you into a building, I'm willing to bet they don't have good intentions. Not to mention, what kind of leverage do people think Army wives possess? You can't kill me, who will bring the macaroni salad to the next FRG function?

So the next time I fly, in the event of a hijacking, I only hope they let the flight attendants do their inflight announcements first. Welcome to X airlines, your exits are here, here, here and here. In the event of a building landing, please put you head between your knees and kiss your ass goodbye. If a turbulent hijacking is to occur, you will notice the deployment of oxygen masks above you head. Please place you oxygen mask on yourself before you attempt to help those being terrorized around you. Please turn off all cellphones, for if we are hijacked we don't want to hear your ringtone of Baby Got Back to be the last thing we hear.

My personal plan in the event of a hijacking, is to stand up, blame the American Infidel Pigs and ask for someone to point me towards Mecca. But I'm just not sure they'd buy it. With my military ID, the cross on my neck, and my panicked yell for Jesus. But I guess thats another issue entirely.

I know that one day, I will have no choice but to face my fears and board the plane. But until that day arises, I think I will wait for the new Sony Teleporter. Granted I may reach my destination with someone elses arms, but I won't have to suffer the inflight meal.

(I wonder how many people just googled Sony Teleporter?lol)

Spirit Fingers!

So one of the obvious perks of Army life, is community support. (Not all communities, but this one atleast).

Today I had the opportunity to take my children to see Toy Story on Ice. Simply because someone had the generosity to donate tickets to the families of deployed soliders. I will say, people who do things like this still amaze me.
My children not only got to see their favorite Disney Characters, but the show was kicked off with the National Anthem but the one and only Trace Adkins!!!

My personal favorite part of the show, were of course the Toy Soldiers. As I was watching them low crawl and fall into formation, I got to thinking.....

Thats what the US Army is truly missing. PIZAZZ! I've decided that if our men were to break into an utterly fabulous line dance when under attack, the enemy would probably turn around and go home. I really think, basic training should now include:
The sprinkler, the running man, and the cabbage patch.

I think when led into combat, they should occasionally break into a step, ball, change. When they come across a possible IED, maybe a little interperative dance is required. The next time, an enemy combatant is subdued maybe a little Tango is called for? When victory has been achieved, they shall all do The Wave.

So with approximately only 4 months left till re-deployment, I think these guys need to get to work. When they come into the Welcome Home Ceremony, I expect Spirit Fingers. (all of them, not just the one!)

The commander should lead off with a double axle, a flip and a loop. I don't know what any of these words mean, but I want to see them. I then want to see troop by troop, break off into the electric slide.

When the soldiers are finally released however, I'm torn. I can't decide if we need a little Kool & the Gang Celebrate Good Times, or YMCA. One seems more fitting, yet if the other were caught by the news and played world wide, I think terrorist would be less likely to screw with us.

Now I must wrap up tonights blog, I have Army Issue ACU's to bedazzle.

I'm Not Nosy, I'm A Concerned Citizen Part 2!

As we are nearing the end of this deployment, I find myself a little more "concerned" than normal. Granted I have spent the better part of 8 months alone, with little or no adult contact on a daily basis.

On a normal day, when life gets to monotonous, you can find me in the front yard, people watching. I prefer to call myself the head of the Neighborhood Watch Program.

Today is a good example. My youngest and I were outside socializing with our neighbor, who I wil refer to as the VP of the NWP.
My VP and I were sitting there catching up on the neighborhood intelligence briefings (gossip), when we notice 2 teenage boys cutting through the housing area.
At first, we didn't think much of it, but then they started to look back, look around the houses and glace seemingly in the cars. We then realize they are supposed to be in school. So we did what any rational busybody would do, we called the police!
Granted I didn't call 911, and request a swat team or anything crazy. But I did call the non-emergency dispatch number. About 20 min. later, we just knew the boys had gone on a crime spree and were to never be seen again. But...they're back??

So my V.P. stops them and ask them a few basic questions. Where do you live? What are you doing? Most importantly, why aren't you in school? Oh yeah...we got you truants now! They are explaining "poorly" why they weren't in school when the police pull up. They question the boys, and it is revealed they were just skipping school and apparently aren't very good at it.

After it was all nearly over with, another neighbor has joined in the chaos. Her first thought, was that I had gone off the deep end and the police were called. I would find that insulting, but lets be honest, I've been waiting for the police to come for me for a long time now.

I thought about the occurence later, and think, maybe the boys were looking back because there were 2 crazy old women starting at them?

So you may call us nosy. But I call us potential hero's! We could have just saved the world from teenagers who could have done, maybe a 1/4 of the stupid crap I did at that age. So to that I say YOU'RE WELCOME!

They will think twice before skipping school in this neighborhood!

I Wanna Be President!

So here's today's thought....hold on its a doozy!
I've mentioned before how when someone hears you are an Army wife, they start asking your opinion on political matters. There is of course, the economy, Don't Ask/Don't tell, an my favorite Border Patrol!

Now, I'll say one more time, being an Army wife does not give us the inside track to the White House. So our opinions really aren't any more important than any other US Citizen. If they were, you would have seen an Army wife in the White House by now!

I've previously stated my opinion on Don't Ask/Don't Tell, and it remains the same. I DON'T CARE. So, since these other topics seem to be of dire need of my opinion,
lets discuss them, lol.

In a perfect world, we wouldn't have the need for such things as Border Patrol, INS, and Homeland Security. But....we don't live in a perfect world, we live in America.

I will admit before 9/11 I could care less who came and went within our borders.
My favorite movie quote was from Clueless: IT DOES NOT SAY RSVP ON THE STATUE OF LIBERTY!~ (yes I quoted Clueless,don't judge me!)
I fully believe that anyone who is truly searching for a better life, should be free to find it. I don't care where you come from, what you look like, and what your religion, you should be welcome to achieve that dream, and we should be free to welcome you to that life.
Now the problem here, isn't good people who want a good life. But people who want to cheat the system.

So when I run for President, my border patrol platform will be this:
You have 90 days to declare yourself. All CURRENTLY within the borders, will have Amnesty, up until that point. If you have not declared yourself, within that timeline, it will be assumed you have a reason for not wanting to be recognized as a US Citizen. One would have total freedom, be here legally, and take advantage of all we have to offer, unless something darker is on their agenda?

Now what about after 90 days, and the illegals coming in the borders?
Now I know all illegals do NOT come from Mexico, for one to assume this is prejudicial and morally wrong. However, since the vast majority do come from Mexico/Central America, I will use this as a reference.

The US spends billions of dollars each year attempting to secure the borders, deportation and other random immigration related charges. Border patrol agents are currently supposed to cover a 1969 mile stretch. Now, the border between Mexico and its neigboring countries Belize and Guatemala are a mere estimated 674 miles.
How much easier would it be to patrol almost 1300 LESS miles?
Yes I know I sound crazy, but hear me out...

If we took the money we spend annually and put it towards the purchase of Mexico, we could be out of the red in no time. Now I'm not saying we make Mexico a state, just merely a US Territory. We could then profit on tourism, the massive import/export opportunities and in this one location, I would advise legalization of drugs.
Mexico has a HUGE drug situation. The legalization of drugs would not only shut down the cartels, but make a huge profit for the country itself.
Don't get me wrong, in most instances I AM COMPLETELY AGAINST DRUG USE! However,I do believe in this area the best option would be legalization.

Now I know there will be a lot of people who read this and think, I've lost my marbles, but I'm ok with that. They may be right.
Like I said, my opinion doesn't matter anymore than anyone else.

However, I think I would make an awesome president. Not only for Border Patrol, but Naked Fridays are sure to be a hit.

So when you hit the voting booths, think Army Wife! (Be careful of the Marine's though, those women are crazy! Just kidding, seriously put down the weapon Um...Semper Fi?)

I Don't....

When people hear you are an Army Wife, the first question is usually, "oh, is he here with you?" When you say no, he's deployed, the conversation can go a couple of different ways. Occasionally you get the hateful remarks with reference to "fighting another mans war" and those are disheartening, but I don't typically take them personally. But, for the most part, the response is something to the effect of
"oh wow, how are you, are you ok, and how do you do it?"

The response, to these questions are pretty well canned responses at this point.
I'm good, it's rough, and it's not easy". Although I am grateful for their concern, regardless of how I sound, there are just not many answers you can give to these questions.

The most interesting statement, I've heard is how do you stay so strong? While again, I do welcome a compliment of this nature, there is still only one response....

I Don't.

People look at me and think I am harsh, rigid and sometimes downright hard. Maybe I am. I appear strong, because I don't have a choice. Now I'm not saying I can't hold my own, but I have my moments just like everybody else. I'm not an emotional person, but I do have emotions. I prefer, movies with lots of explosions, action, and excitement, but even I like the occasional love scene.

I'm not as "strong" as some would like to believe. In all honesty, I think I hit the wrong side of crazy a long time ago. But, I do the only thing I can, I tell the voices to shut up or I'll stab them with a Q-Tip. (seriously, just kidding...I don't condone violence)

So the better question to ask Army wives, is simply.....do you have enough Ammo? When is your follow up appt? and Do you know what day it is???

If she says yes, gives you a date, and tells you the right day (with in 2-3 days of accuracy) then its safe to proceed with the conversation.

If she says No, I don't have one, and its the day I pistol whip your ass with my unloaded handgun, there's a good chance you should discontinue this conversation, and possibly relocate.

I WANNA BLOW STUFF UP!

After a lot of thought and careful consideration regarding my career path, I've decided a change may be in order.

Here I am with a constantly deployed husband, 3 small children and a relatively useless degree in Legal Studies. Now a sane person, would think, the next step is Law School, right? Luckily for all of us, I'm not that sane.

I WANNA BLOW STUFF UP!

Now I'm not saying that in a Terroristic Fashion. Burkas will make me look too hippy and there's the whole exploding head thing, so suicide bombing just isn't for me.

I could of course, join the military, but when they yelled at me at 5 am, and I(accidentally) "busted a cap in their ass", I'm thinking that may not have the best outcome one would hope for either. Besides, since I had a degree, I would attempt to go in as an officer, which would be bad for several reasons. The biggest....I already outrank my husband at home, is it fair for me to pull rank at work?? (hi honey)

I could, look into Construction work, obviously. I've always had a dream of sitting on a platform yelling sexually explicit profanity at strange men walking by, not to mention the awesome tan. Ohhhh, and the bulldozers! But, that looks like it may be physically exhausting, and it gets hot outside. I'm obviously a very delicate female (stop laughing!) and I just don't know if its for me.

So....what can I do with my life. I like to sleep in, temperature must stay between 70-80 degrees with a low humidity. I don't like "uniforms" that make me look hippy, I have a useless legal degree, and I wanna blow stuff up.

Maybe I could do freelance work.

Letter To Bin Laden

I found this online and thought it was too funny not to share. I don't know where it originated but it just makes some good points!

WATCH IT, BIN LADEN. WE JUST MAY BE CRAZIER THAN YOU

To those extremists that perpetrated this crime against our nation, I have a warning for you. There are those of us who look at your actions as irrational, twisted, and completely inhuman. By all measures, what you have done can only be seen as insane. I have news for you. We're more nuts than you, and it should scare you s***less.

You may think that when you die for your cause, you go to Paradise with 72 virgins, can leave reservations for 70 members of your family, all your sins are forgiven, and you sit at the side of Allah. Big deal. We had 39 guys who rented a Beverly Hills mansion, cut off their nuts, built a web site, and proceeded to poison themselves to death to hitch a ride with aliens out on the Hale-Bopp comet.

You shoot guns into the sky to celebrate victories over enemies, and people are killed by the bullets raining down on them. We not only do this for New Year's Eve in some cities, but we burn houses down, tear up streets, loot and sack our stores, and beat our selves senseless when our sports teams win championships. Sports teams! We made a sequel to Police Academy 5. We gave an award for singing to two guys who never even sang. We put little sweaters on dogs. We shot John Lennon six times and didn't even aim for Yoko Ono. We think Elvis is still alive. We put Braille on drive-up automatic teller machines. We think that a simple button on a web site that says "Do not click if you're under 21" will do anything but cause a person under 21 to click on it. We take a large chunk of the island on which those buildings you destroyed sat and pretend that it isn't a part of our country after all, let people fly in to our airports that we want to kill, drive them in limousines to speak against us on this "pretend territory" land, let them drive back to our airport, and let them fly them back home without a scratch. We sell hot dogs in packages of ten and the buns in packages of eight.

We can't even decide if pitchers should have to bat for themselves or not. All those baseball fields we've got. none of them are even remotely the same size. We gave millions of dollars to a guy that told us that God was going to kill him if he didn't raise enough money. When he didn't get enough money, he didn't die. So we gave him more money in celebration of the fact that God didn't make him die. We've managed to keep the formulas for Coca-Cola and Kentucky Fried Chicken secret for decades, we encrypt the most banal communications on our Information

Superhighway, and yet we given away our most important nuclear secrets to the Chinese and Russians at the drop of a hat.

And yet, with all this on the A-1 Psycho balance sheet, you still think you're more nuts than us that this won't result in your complete and utter annihilation? One way or another, your way of life will be over, period.

Freedom's kind of a crazy, kooky, nutty thing when you look really close at it and all the bizarre and loony things that can result from it, but it's better than any other ideas anybody else has come up with. It's been that way since 1776, and built to last no matter how insanely we try to screw it up on a daily basis.

We are even so nuts and ruthless enough as a nation to start insanely tearing at those of ourselves that even remotely resemble you in such rancorous, deplorable, and angry ways that will make you wonder if Allah has enough glue to piece enough of you back together for a flesh paperweight in Paradise. We may not know where you are now, but when we do I guarantee you that the majority of our high school children will still have no idea where on the globe where you are or where you will end up being buried. But we will send them anyway, and we will allow those of them that went into the armed services because they didn't manage to get into college *still* rain down Hell and fire on your worthless hides. It will all come down on you, because we're nuts enough to give all four of our branches of military services extremely powerful and deadly aircraft even though only one of them is actually called the Air Force.

Picking a fight with the most insane nation on Earth with the hope that your message and influence will spread throughout the world, well, that's just downright stupid.

Conspiracy!

I've decided there is some sort of Army wide conspiracy just to piss me off, or drive me crazy at the least.
At times I imagine a council, of sorts. All sitting around a table, taking votes "all in favor say I, all opposed say nay!"

In general, there are very few things will set me off. So I believe the game plan is to see how many little irksome things can be piled on top of each other to create one mass clusterf@#$.

In all my time with the Army, Lord knows I've dealt with insane issues. For the most part, I've handled it pretty well....I believe. We've had deployment after deployment. Babies and surgeries, alone. Insane late night phonecalls from concerned spouses. Emails from moms, dads, and in-laws wanting random information. Break-ins and even a drive by shooting and I've never really complained, and I've definitely never crumbled.

So...after all this time, I've decided IF YOU CAN'T BEAT THEM, JOIN THEM.

From now on, I will be the wife who calls Rear D because her toilet won't flush. I think I will call the FRG Leader at 3 am, because I am concerned for my missing cat. Then at 4, I will call her back because I realized I don't even have a cat. I will call the hospital appointment line to schedule a blood pressure check, then strip down and tell them I need a physical instead. When they refuse and tell me to get dressed, I will call Rear D. Why? I DON'T KNOW!
I think I will call housing, because there is a racoon stealing my underwear, and I wanna know what they are gonna do about it. Then I'm gonna call ACS, tell them I wanna sign up for soccer. When they tell me I dialed the wrong number, I'm gonna yell at them for picking up the wrong phone.
I'm going to call the MP station and tell them my deaf neighbor is making too much noise, and complain because the blind one keeps driving over my bushes.
Then, I think I will call everybody in the troop, and tell them how AMWAY has changed my life.

So to all you who I know are plotting against me......YOU CAN NEVER OUT CRAZY ME!

Now if you'll excuse me, there is something with a child-proof cap that is calling my name.

Day 2

Well its been over 24 hours now since my hubby has headed back to the other side of the world. Last night was a long night. My youngest comes to me at bed time and says
"mommy, since daddy's goed byebye, I should sleep in yous bed". *smile*
So, once I put her in her OWN bed, I turned in for a night of tossing and turning.
Finally about midnight, and after a strategically timed sedative, I got some rest.

I rise early this morning, with a mental list of all I need to get done. I am not ashamed (well maybe a little bit) to admit, these last 2 weeks, I have done absolutely nothing. On a normal day, my floors are mopped, laundry is done and bathrooms are cleaned. I have done NOTHING since he was home. So today I get my groove back.

Floors done, laundry started, dishes washed, lunches made, kids off to school. Woohooo! I'm on a roll. Thats all done, so now what?

I think I will redecorate the Bathroom!! So I head off to the local Wal-Mart, which is of course where all the uber-classy Army wives go for bathroom decor. I'm off to a good start.
New Rug-Check
New Seat Cover-Check

Now its off to the decorations and scented candles. This is where I get distracted.
I couldn't find just the right decor for to match the vision I have for my potty, so I head to the candles. As I'm looking at all the different types, scents and arrangements, I catch a glimpse of the food scented candles. Now I understand, these candles aren't "necessarily" for the bathroom and can be placed anywhere in the home.
However, I can honestly say, I've never thought to myself.....

"do you know what would make pooping even better....pumpkin pie". So now that I will never look at pie the same way, I've settled on a grapefruit medley that will be both pleasing in aroma, and makes me feel a bit healthier for having it.

There's a good chance I should not be left unsupervised on a regular basis. I wonder what epiphany I will have on Day 3?

And We're Back

The appearance of the "uniform" has an odd effect on a person. You see a police uniform, you immediately slow down. A fireman, you look for smoke, a soldier....your heart drops.

Got up early today, took my shower, got dressed and walked downstairs to see my husband in uniform sitting on the couch with 2 of our 3 children. He had gotten them up early, gotten them dressed and tried to spend the last few moments he had with them.

After everybody was ready to go, he picked up his backpack and we headed to the truck. That drive to the airport seemed to take forever, but flashby at the same time. He drove quietly, as I played with my cellphone. The giggling from the backseat reminds you of what they are sacrificing. The silence in the front seats was deafening. Only broken up by the occasional sigh, and generic conversation.

We arrive at the airport, check in, and head to the terminals. Luckily the family members are allowed to wait with the soldier until boarding. I can remember a time, not long ago, when we weren't allowed that opportunity. The kids occupy themselves by watching airplanes, singing silly songs and pestering other soldiers awaiting their flights.

Finally, after about 2 hours they make the boarding call, and reality sets in. My husband gives his final goodbyes and goes to stand in line. You look at the line and see not one, not two, but more than a dozen soldiers standing in line to board the same flight. The numbers themselves are disheartening.

My two youngest are calm. They've occupied themselves with the airplanes and countdowns to Christmas. My son uses it as a marker for when Daddy will be back. How many days til Christmas mommy? So how many days after Santa will daddy be home?
My oldest however took it pretty hard. She's just old enough to really start to understand why daddy is gone. She understands his purpose for leaving, but that doesn't make the pain go away. She cries, and makes a run for the boarding line for one last hug. We wait for a few minutes and his line to board seems to be in slow motion. So the kids get antsy, and they all want daddy. Why is he just standing there? Can we give him another hug? I finally agree to sneak them over for one last goodbye.

The most touching part of the farewell, wasn't the soldier holding back tears. Wasn't the children who weren't fully aware of the surroundings, and it wasn't even the heartbroken little girl. But it was a stranger. An older woman, sitting alone watching the situation unfold. I'm walking away from my husband, trying to usher my 3 children back to the window to see the planes, and I see her. Fighting back tears of her own. She looks at them, looks at me and just whispers a simple "I'm so sorry" while large tears stream down her cheek.

Its funny, I hear things like "I feel so bad for you", "tell your husband thank you", and "I don't know how you do it", but nothing matches that statement. I don't believe she has any reason to be sorry. I don't think I deserve to hear her say she is sorry. But for the FIRST time ever, it seemed someone outside my boat was able to feel my pain. Finally, somebody gets it. I walked on, continued my attempts at lighthearted conversation until the plane disappeared, and we left the airport.

My children, dried their tears and being the little soldiers they are, returned to school. I went to the commissary, made dinner and put them to bed. Nearly 12 hours later, I close my door, breathe deeply, and shed a tear. Odds are, it will be one of very few tears I shed. Not because I don't want to cry, but because we aren't afforded the luxury.

Tomorrow morning, I will rise, get the kids ready for school and we will soldier on.

Dear Mr. President

Ok, so our Commander in Chief is getting a lot of hassle from those on both sides of the Iraqi war. He agreed to pull all COMBAT units out of Iraq by the end of August.
He's following a timeline set by former President Bush etc, etc...

When someone not affilitated with the Army reads that he is pulling out all combat units, they believe that this is to mean, no more American Forces in Iraq.
Um....no.
The military is made up of several branches. Each of these branches of the military are made up of different units all sustaining a different MOS (job).

Some are combat, some are not.

Now, was he truthful in his statement of bringing home all combat units? Well....
The only thing I will say about this, is because you are not necessarily considered a "combat" unit doesn't mean you aren't. Those specialized units, troops, groups etc.. such as Special Forces, Navy Seals are remaining in Iraq at this time, and more are scheduled within the next few months.

There will be some who say well he is sending XYZ combat unit, in November. Yes, that may be true. But their capacity will not (?) be that of a combat situation.

People forget when reading the headlines, watching CNN, and local news sources, that the man is a Politician. Not only that but he is an Attorney. He made a living speaking in semantics. You have to learn to read between the lines. Its not just what he's saying, but what he's not.

With that being said, he is our Commander in Chief. You may not respect the man, but respect the title. I am not an Obama supporter. But I do support this country. He is the man leading it, therefore I will respect him the best of my ability.

Just because one has the Freedom of Speech, doesn't mean you should abuse that freedom.

Politically Incorrect?

Ok, so I've been told repeatedly that I am Politically Incorrect. To this I will say
THANK YOU!
I do not have a problem with anyone of another, race, creed, height, religion, orientation or even mental condition. Until we stop treating each other as inferior and using such things as "political correctness" we will never see the value each has to offer.
I make random comments, jokes and statements regarding different groups, but never to be taken in a mean or harmful way.

So lets see who we can offend today!

One who knows me will know I frequently use the word 'tard. This is not meant as a reference to those actually being mentally handicapped. It is not meant to be hurtful towards that group in any way. In my opinion the mentally handicapped population are not to be pittied in any way. For the majority, I believe they are the luckiest people on earth. To see the world with such innocence and child like wonder is something the rest of us can only pray for.
So if you have a problem, with my use of the word 'tard or retarded, then I suggest you not give me a reason to say it to you!

I believe Political Correctness is a way to walk on eggshells and make one group feel more inferior than another. Its a way of stating one group cannot handle who they are, so lets treat them like they should be ashamed.

If you are not ashamed of who you are, you cannot be offended when someone makes a statement to that fact.
I have been called various things throughout my life. Some of them were correct.
I am not ashamed of who I am. I don't believe that anyone else should be ashamed of who they are either.
I know who I am, what I've done, where I've been and where I'm going.
I am a "predominantly" white woman, of less than average height. The typical slur for someone like myself is to be called a cracker.
I AM OK WITH THAT. Just keep in mind, that I am a Ritz Bitz, not to be confused with other crackers who may be HiHo's.

We should not be upset about our differences. We should celebrate them. I do not want to live in a monotonous world. I want to see colors, I want to see religions, I want to see people with everything on their heads from tiaras to towels. Everybody has a place and a reason in this world. Whether it is the ability to reach things off the top shelf, or not having to bend over to get in the cabinet. Whether its a gay man, who can decorate my living room or an Indian who can provide tech support.
Like I have previously stated, I am an equal opportunity bigot.

For someone to want us to all be the same, is well retarded!

The Seige of Rear D

Drama, Drama, Drama! One of the "perks" of Army life, is there is never a lack of drama.
Rear D-or Rear Detachment, consists of the group of soldiers left to man the homefront. They are chosen for a variety of reasons. Some are as serious as an extremely ill spouse and some are as simple as the soldier cannot be trusted with a rifle. Unfortunately for them, they have a tendency to be grouped into the category of "they were left behind for a reason *wink,wink*", whether they deserve it or not.

I, myself admit to being a little harsh on the Rear D, from time to time. Although, "typically" in fun, I have made the reference to Rear D, as being the "special" forces of the Army. I've made the heinious comments of, "keeping the shit in the rear",and I've even made statements to the effect of the dangers of paper cuts.

IT WAS WRONG OF ME. I will say that, honestly and openly. I have a warped sense of humor at times, and realize that not everybody shares my lighthearted views (go figure, right?, I was shocked!)

I will say that being a part of Rear D, is probably a bit more stressful than we realize. That grouping a bunch of soldiers together is wrong. There are good soldiers who, don't deserve the treatment they receive. I'm sure that dealing with wives such as myself on a daily basis can make one want to claw their eyes out with an open stapler.

Now, with that being said....
Rear D is a group of SOLDIERS, regardless. They consist of mostly MEN. So when a wife of a Rear D soldier, decides to take it upon herself to post insane rantings regarding the wives of actual deployed soldiers, it can get a little touchy.
Like I said, they are soldiers, with a negative stereotype, so do they need their wife to come online and defend their honor? Now I know if it were my husband someone was SPECIFICALLY speaking of, I'd be a little miffed. However, the wives of the Rear D need to keep in mind a few key points.
We depend on Rear D, to do right by us. We EXPECT they will do right by us. Its the least we can ask for is for one to do their job. Our soldiers are doing theirs, under a hail of gunfire. Yours under a hail of paperclips.
Our soldiers deal with laser guided missles, yours deal with laser guided pointers.
Ours, deal with Taliban insurgents. Yours....angry wives. See the difference?

Like I have previously said, we have a tendency to take our frustrations on on Rear Detachment, whether they deserve it or not. Lets not add fuel to the fire, by rubbing in that yours is home safe. Most of our frustration and stress is misguided.
But not all of it!

So if Rear D, is ever under seige by Taliban insurgents, your husband is hurt and you don't know how badly then maybe you will feel the fear and gain a little understanding as to our views, frustration and pain.

R & R: Day 1

So we decide to brave the trip to the airport. Seeing as I am "navigationally challenged" this may not have been my most ingenious idea. My 45 min-1 hr trip took me about 1 1/2, not bad considering I did get lost 3 times.

I'm pulling into the parking garage, just in time for my phone to go off.
"Where are you?" um....in the garage. He then decides to navigate me to his location via text message. This is my other weakness, texting. So I gave up, started to send a less than pleasant message informing him where he could find me. When I look around the corner and see my bald headed soldier heading this way.

Once I got the kids attention away from the escalator, and reminded them daddy was coming it finally fell into place. He rounds the corner, and you see 3 kids one after the other DADDDYYYYYYYY! Finally, after over a week of transit he's home. We know where he is, he's safe and all is well.

The rest of the day was pretty quiet. The adjustment of being home after 7 months, the changes that have occured, not to mention the growth of the children is a lot to take. I dropped the oldest two off at school just in time for picture day. The youngest refuses to let daddy out of her site. All day long, daddy, daddy, daddy where are you? daddy, daddy, daddy are you there. Where's daddy? Did daddy go back to work? Daddy, daddy, daddy. This went on all day.

We made it to my son's football practice. This is the first time my spouse has gotten to see one of his sports. He missed the entire T-ball season and has hated it every since. It is obvious to any one who see's my child who he belongs to. Besides the spitting image, the waving from the sidelines gives it away.

We make it home, get everybody to bed and finally I get my soldier to myself! Or so I thought. Here comes the baby back down the stairs. Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!
Finally after 3 tries, she's down!

The biggest adjustment to him being home however was from me. For the last 7 months, I have had total reign of my bed. I could keep the room the temperature I want, use all the blankets or none of them. I could sprawl, kick or toss all night long. Not so much anymore. For the first time in a long time, I had to share!! It was horrible. I am all about my bed, period. So by 3 am, he's sleeping on the couch and I'm threatening to mail his ass back to Iraqistan or whatever podunk country he would feel more comfortable. Finally,even though he got to be re-aquainted with the sofa atleast I know he's home.

Welcome To The Zoo!

Somebody asked me what its really like marrying into the Army. If its anything close to what you see on tv, or if my blog is even an exaggeration of Army life.
Well I will say this.....everything I type is 100 percent based off my own experiences. While I may put a comical spin on some stories, they are still absolutely true.

So, what is it like to be an Army wife, dealing with other women who are in the same situation as you? Well its like living in a hormonal zoo.

You pay at the gate for entry. Only we don't use money (we don't have any). We pay with our soul, sweat and tears.
We meet our tour guide, for arguments sake, we'll call her Flo. (get the joke, lol)

Flo takes us on a guided trip around the facility, with our first stop, the elephants. She then demonstrates how the animal can retain massive amounts of water in its trunk.

Next stop, the monkey cages...where you see the proper way to throw shit at people.

Then we are off to see the lions/tigers. Be careful, you may be eaten at any time.

We also, have the more gentile animals such as the zebras and giraffes. They don't blend in well, but they just mostly want to be left alone.

We are now off to the meerkats. The stay amongst themselves, popping out once in a while to let you know they are there, but prefer to stay in their little holes.

The gorillas of course are always a site to see. Making a scene, pounding their chest can come off as a threat. Just wanting to be left alone, to swing from their trees in peace and are usually satisfied with a simple banana.

Then there are the birds. Hiding amongst the trees. Building their nests (off post)high up as to be kept at a safe distance.

Then our tourguide Flo will usually wrap up the tour at the snack stand.
Some of the animals will return to their caves, holes or nests. Others will try to escape and eat the weaker animals. But all in all, we will remain in our zoo surroundings as much as it kills us to do so. Never being able to fully live outside of captivity again.

Nope, No Sacrifice Here.

I've noticed an increase in Anti-Army wife blogs, websites and rantings. I've seen posts calling us all sorts of names, with all sorts of stories and lots of complaints towards the population of Army wives in general.
To stereotype a group, is a mass generalization, but maybe we deserve some of them? Maybe we have earned the titles we are given and possibly even the names too?
Or
Maybe, just maybe....some people just need to be bitchslapped? Opinions are like rearends. Everybody's got one, some just smell worse than others.

My favorite Anti-Army wife blogs are the ones that claim we don't sacrifice. In the last few days I've seen several for some reason. My favorite was forwarded from a friend of mine this past week. She was the wife of a Vietnam Veteran. She ranted about how she's tired of hearing about our sacrifices. That today's Army wife doesn't really sacrifice. That today's Army is an all volunteer Army and we joined this life willingly.

Well...She's right. We took our marriage vows knowing the possibilies of deployments were there. Granted the idea that we would ever really be at war, seemed absurd. But we still knew it was a possibility. Who knew, that a group of whack jobs would fly a plane into a national landmark killing thousands of people? But hence, we still signed that marriage certificate.

Compared to her era, we don't sacrifice the way she did. Going months upon months not knowing if she is to be a widow. Waiting for a snapshot of her loved one to arrive in the mail. With today's technology, its rare that we go for long periods of time without speaking to our soldiers, whether its phonecall, internet or even snail mail. I am grateful that today, I can log onto my computer and see my soldier sitting on the other end. That thousands of miles away, I can see that he is whole, uninjured and as safe as possible. We are a long cry from where we started nearly 10 years ago, and even further from when she suffered through Vietnam.

Now with that being said.....somethings are a bit different than Vietnam. Yes we may speak to our soldiers, on a semi-regular basis. Yes we may complain about deployments and we may even go a little overboard with the pity parties.
However, we say good-bye to our soldiers on a every other year basis. We get them home after 12-15 months away. Just in time for them to train for the next deployment. Right now, we have been given a "19 month guarantee". So for 19 months we have them home, then they are off to save the next country in peril. So compared to this person's ONE deployment, of most likely less than a year, we have a right to be a little grumpy.

Keep in mind, we've received guarantees of this sort before.
Our guarantee's are like limited warranties. It is only for certain if you don't PCS, change your MOS or become more or less valuable within the upcoming months. Not to mention if yet another world wide crisis is to come about!!

But my favorite part, is when she said her husband came home and refused to wear his uniform. The anti-war movement was so bad, that he couldn't stand for anyone to know he was a soldier. Hmmm...where is that pride and sacrifice now? I remember sitting in a restaurant and overhearing some hateful woman complain about the soldiers being murderers sent by President Bush to annihilate Iraq for oil. Try explaining that statement to your child. But she sacrificed more than we have when her husband wouldn't wear his uniform?

So maybe she's right, maybe we don't sacrifice as much as we could. But a sacrifice is still a sacrifice. Our children sacrifice more than anyone. We as Army wives chose this life. Our children did not. It was chosen for them. So tell me they haven't sacrificed. Our soldiers deploy, so your civilians don't have to.
Our children sacrifice, so yours can play tag. Our wives sacrifice, so you can stand on your pedestal. The funny thing about standing on a pedestal, when its knocked over you have a lot further to fall!!